my birthday is in less than a month. i wish for a puppy.

**brief summary: i am no longer employed. it felt great to work, earn money, interact with people and be busy, but in the end it was NOT worth the pay, the time, the demands of the position, etc (lots of other cons, but like i said, brief summary...)

 since leaving that job, our home has returned to its lovely state of cleanliness and yummy smells. there is fresh produce in the refrigerator, dinner is being cooked and we have clean clothes.  in the month that i was working, things took a bit of a tumble around here.  jared has been fairly vocal about how much better life has been since i quit (aka- less tired, less grumpy, less high strung beckie).  

and it's not like we need the extra money. 

we only live in one of the countries most expensive zip codes, with a 9.5% sales tax, $5 a gallon gas, two older cars, and a billion other bills we kinda didn't realize we'd have...and...i like nice things... but who needs money. ok. we do. so yes, i am eagerly seeking a better fit for my employment and excited to help contribute more.

no job means i am back to an aimless and boring existence.  and worse- jared is out of town for an entire week on his annual "gentleman's pheasant hunt".  in his absence, i have reconnected with my former love/hate relationship with jillian.

i love this yoga dvd.  i have loved yoga for years and my dedication to the lifestyle has been spotty but i love how quickly my body gets back in the mode. this video is traditional yoga/pilates with cardio.  so yes, it is definitely a more westernized version of the practice, but it gets the job done and my spine is already feeling fluid again.

it is also a good idea that i incorporate a bit more exercise into my daily routine.  because i think that i am getting fat. this past weekend was one of the best since we have lived here and we ate a lot.  two of jared's old roommates and best friends, zac and shane, came to LA for a few days and it was everything we hoped it would be.  when i was dating jared, i was also somewhat dating his whole apartment. when those boys get together there is more joy amongst them than a pack of unicorns.  jared had been working SO hard to get everything in order at work, church and home before leaving on his hunting trip.  having the boys stay with us was another reward for his diligence.  friends in town is also a good time for us to explore more things in the city.  but we do have our favorites...where we take EVERYONE.  

(sorry, most of you are on my fbook or instagram too, so these pictures are repeats...)

there was 800 degrees pizza, diddy riese, hollywood, the temple, rodeo drive, celeb houses, croquet, the beach, and late nights of sharing giggles and feelings.

(i thought that was a cute outfit, until i saw this picture and realized i look like a 7 year old. and zac stole jared's glasses...his eyes aren't naturally more squinty than mine.  shane and zac matched on purpose.)

and when we go to the pier, we must get our bacon cheese dogs. grilled, buttery bun, fake cheddar cheese, a giant hotdog wrapped in bacon. AMAZING. how did i ever do that vegetarian life?  thanks to spud and katie for actually being the ones to introduce us to the glorious caloric monstrosity. 

we also had a little history lesson when we went and saw Argo.

ben affleck has yet to let me down as a movie director.  it was outstanding and from what i read, pretty accurate.  we had seen Looper a couple of weeks ago and i assumed that it would be my favorite film until the holidays (when les mis and great gatsby premiere!) but Argo is now on my list. i happen to love alan arkin and john goodman, especially together.  that duo combined with gritty historical controversy, a strong sense of patriotism and mr. affleck make for a completely enjoyable and justifiable reason to sit for 2 hours.

one of our last adventures was going to lunch at a russian restaurant in hollywood.  it was AUTHENTIC russian food.  luckily, jared was able to speak with impressive fluency. one reason that i liked him when we first met was that he wasn't one of those guys who was constantly referring to his mission.  he was so humble about the whole experience. he loved his mission, he served faithfully, and would love to go back, but he has never felt the need to broadcast it.  the food at this restaurant was amazing, jared was able to enjoy his some of his favorites, speak russian with ease, and teach all of us more about the culture and share some his experiences.

but all good things must come to an end.  within 36 hours, all three boys were gone.  and now i am home, watching way too many episodes of vampire diaries and laughing/crying my eyes out to this book:

which reminds me that i really need a dog. these "mr. husband outta town" days wouldn't be so bad if i had a puppy to run around and cuddle with. 

it is just THAT amazing.

2 posts in 1 day? it must be important.

a microfiber bristle hairbrush! brush your hair when it is damp and it sucks the water out to help make it dry faster. this is amazing. i am pretty sure 90% of my electric bill comes from my hair dryer. and if i could cut down drying time, i could do my hair in 3 minutes instead of 20 (17 is spent drying). based on the added productivity and the environmental savings that this beauty offers, i MUST have one. 

they are supposedly going to be for sale this year... i am on the lookout.

the undiva.

once upon a time i only wore and used expensive makeup and stuff.

and now i only require what you see above. 

those have been my staples for 2 years and going strong.

i used to spend more than all of that combined for mascara... bad beckie.

i may still say "i NEED that cardigan. i NEED to try that new blah blah. i HAVE to get a new pair of jeans, shoes, earrings, and stuff". but the point is, i am learning.

and if you cannot tell, i am learning how to use picnik.com better too... :)

well...hello.

it's been a little minute since i have blogged (approx 648,000 minutes...). i have had every intention to post again but i was just getting so far behind and it was overwhelming trying to think of a way to write about everything that has been going on. because you know me, my life is so exciting and there is always something new and fabulous worthy of cyber report. i lieu of the sarcastic nature of that previous statement, i am going to proceed with this post as though there has been no hiatus.

this past week we had our first snowfall. i was not happy about it because i do not like being cold. however, all things considered, this has been a very mild end of autumn thus far. the night prior to the mini blizzard (like 100 snowflakes total), j and i had been outside in shorts playing tennis. such pleasant weather should have been a red flag. as soon as i felt the chill that morning, i knew that there was only one thing to do.  make grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner that night.

i never buy bread. and i definitely don't buy grandma sycamore bread. not because it is bad but because it is so ridicuously good, that i could eat a whole loaf in a sitting. however, if you don't have fresh sour dough, it is the only way to go. and i don't believe in kraft singles. cheddar is better. lots of butter, a pan and some heat and yum. pacific organic soups are my favorite. add some basil and you have a warm, yummy meal.  and of course, you may only cut your sandwich in triangles, how else can you effectively dip??

i enjoy cooking. i have a lot of fun learning new recipes, making up my own and trying new foods. it has been fun to make dinner for j and myself a few nights a week. and the best part:

i cook, he eats and then he helps clean (and always takes out the trash), it is a beautiful system we have going. 

let's see....some other things that have been going on besides school and work... ummm oh yeah, the cardinals  WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!

i hope that ya'll watched the series, especially the epic game 6. one of the most amazing displays of baseball that i have ever witnessed. i am so happy for our cardinals! although tony will be very missed. i remember dancing to this song in the fourth grade on his behalf.  aww and remember ozzie?  the good ol' days.

and for some more big news...( that is such a relative term)

i got my first pair of big girl, leather boots. they are a great winter accessory, fashionable and functional, but i could not bring myself to make the $200+ investment. well, thanks to birthday love and bargain shopping, i didn't have to. it is taking a little adjusting to wear something so trendy, but i have suffered through enough cold, wet footed winters.  the time was at hand. plus they go so well with my other accessory obsession.

this is the best bag that i have ever had. they fold up into the tiniest things but hold SO many things! sturdy, classy, leather and waterproof. god bless longchamp. 

i hate school. but i love my job.  i miss my yoga class but have decided to get back into it myself. plane tickets for the holidays are purchased. new iphone is in the mail. the general conference issue of the ensign is here. j is the best and i love him a bushel and peck and hug around the neck. life is going well.

tonight we are off to a cabin in southern utah with his family. should be a great time. more bloggy love to come.

a bit out of character.

i am addicted to something that i have coined clothes porn.  as mark twain said, "the finest clothing made is a person's skin, but of course, society requires something more than this". too bad. who doesn't love being nakey?

luckily, i also love clothes. i forget to wear them sometimes (and i am sure that some people are convinced that i only own yoga pants and cardigans) but they can be so pretty. i rarely have the gumption to go with the trendy and my look remains pretty classic. but i do love to look and wish that i was beautiful and brazen enough for the latest styles (think east coast/gossip girl...not sex in the city, high fashion). alas, my personality and wallet do not allow for this to be a reality. though, i am ok with that. practicality is admirable. thank goodness for the internet, because it provides my shopping high but i don't really shop. i cannot actually see and feel the soft sweaters and pretty dresses...so i know that i will not buy them. but i find it quite entertaining. considering the fact that i rarely just sit around and do nothing, let alone that i would spend my time looking at shoes and skirts, is kind of a dirty little secret. but i just love to browse online at all the cute outfits.

and now for the real shocker- my latest clothes porn addiction is not to just clothes...but wedding clothes. i don't know why. but i love looking at the j crew wedding collection (and the men in those suits...not bad either)...and now anthroplogie is coming out with a wedding line too. i don't even care about my own wedding. there are a few staple things that i will matter (the temple, the guy, comfy shoes, the wedding night...), but other than that, i could just sign the paper and be good. i didn't grow up playing barbies or planning dream weddings, but there is something addictingly fun about wedding blogs, magazines and collections.

classy but modern, vintagy but clean. and they even have rehearsal dinner, engagement picture and honeymoon outfit ideas. how lovely. ang claims that once you actually plan a wedding it loses it's appeal...and she is wise and we have a lot in common as far as our inability to think and worry about silly little things like lace and centerpieces, so i will believe her. for now, i will have my fun.  

i tend to know what i don't like more than what i do like (always a critic, i know) so i guess that if i ever do get married for real, i will know exactly what i want. think of all the time and headache i will save everyone in my life (not that being a maid of honor or bridesmaid is ever a headache... i love you brides...). 

this song always makes me smile.

it is 3 am.

 yes, that is a lot of face.

but no, i am not that vain. just an occasional insomniacal blogger. 

in fact, i usually keep long hair to hide as much of my face as possible.

but...i am starting to get that nagging desire to chop it all off.

i go through shampoo faster than toothpaste (and i use a lot of toothpaste).

it takes at least 10 minutes to dry.

it gets so hot!

but...it means that i do not have to style it. 

hello pony tails and braids.

it can be fun...

and again, it is my security blanket. it hides me.

every time i DO cut my hair i cry...but it always grows back.

i am conflicted.

i think that it is time for me to adopt a puppy.

twenty eleven.

i sort of suffer from a neurotic issue with numbers. 2011? yuck. i just do not like the look or sound of that. but i am determined to have a great year anyway.

new years eve: most low key night i have had all week.  but lily came over and we had a fun little night together doing...nothing. 

new years day: went to the jazz game- they won. it was great. then over to the boys' to play games....until 6:30 am.  it was a wonderful new years day.

goals:

(just a few to share)

earn nursing school qualifying grades (basically straight A's)

give up all meat (just lacto-ovo vegetarian...even though i am lactose intolerant. hello soy)

  read the new testament (i should have done this years ago)

maintain a healthy weight (this will probs be more of a body image issue)

attend the temple once a week (and go to a couple new ones!)

learn to swim (competitive swimming for tri's)

write to my parents in fiji

Don't Fritter Away Your Life

"It is necessary to prepare, to plan, so that we don't fritter away our lives. Without a goal, there can be no real success. The best definition of success I have ever found goes something like this: Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. Someone has said the trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never crossing the goal line."

Thomas S. Monson, "Three Gates Only You Can Open," New Era, Aug. 2008, 2, 4

bloggy blog.

So it has been a little minute since I have shared anything with the blogging world. You know that point when so much time has passed that even a simple task seems like a completely overwhelming undertaking (love how those two words can work together)? 

(Eg: when I have not written in my journal for a time, I feel like there is so much to write that I should just abandon ship all together... or another example....there is a guy that I have ran next to at the gym for over two years. We exchange hellos everyday and small talk- but have I ever posed the basic quandary of what his name is??? nope. And now it just seems silly.)

Well here it goes:

Books: 

it is raw and not for everyone. but i loved it.


• Hunger Games Series. Good and bad.
  
• The Glass Castle. Stellar.
• Ron Paul's The Revolution.  Enlightening.
• A couple church books, the entire Book of Mormon, the Cycling magazine that my friend has subscribed me to, a few hippie books (being a vegetarian midwife will take a lot of educating).

Men:

i am going to miss my joely so much. but no fear, he will be back in january (hooray for T and Lauren getting married!!) for a visit and then to Reno i go in feb. I only cry a little when I walk by his empty parking space.

• I have the best guy friends in the world.
• Am I getting married to any of them in particular?  That is still to be determined.

Dates have been fun.  Winter provides a lot of fun outdoor opportunities to get to know people.  Take a look at this sexy man...(he was only slightly excited about the resorts opening)

yep. that's blakey and he is adorable and keeping Sully alive while I am home for Christmas....at least he better be.

Family:

driving to CO.

baby aves sleepin like a doll. a squishy doll.

Nastia...truly enjoying that Wyoming scenery...

sleeping like a rock and dreaming of john mayer.

• I am home! My family is spectacular. I have finally spent some time with the babies, my sisters and my fantastic parental units. We have a fun, busy, snowy week ahead of us. 
• Plus, welcome our little Russian, Nastia!  Utah got the best of her and she has gone blonde... luckily you can always dye it back. But she is a gem.
• Speaking of parents: They are going to FIJI for their mission in January!  Fijian Christmas 2011? Sure.

Um and tid bits:

• My birthday was amazing. seriously one of the best ever. We literally sold out Pantruca's. Much to their delight of course. They are so good to me. The whole day was just fabulous. I received some stellar presents too. The best: my coloring books and my hour and a half long full body massage. bliss.
• Thanksgiving with the Murphy's was more than I could ever ask for. Let's face it, I am a pseudo murphy and we all know it.

so...at both my christmas and birthay party the male to female ratio was about 6:1. Like I said...awesome guy friends. still lacking on the female end. But making progress!

White elephant was extremely successful.

• Our christmas party was a total bash. Cops came and everything. seriously. it happened. 

bit of a flour explosion when baking 6 dozen sugar cookies for the party.

some of the party guests' artwork.

• Basketball is in full swing, work is steady, school is out for another couple weeks, and I love it.

I am just so happy.

trying new things.

I have been trying (i have yet to master any) a few new things lately...

* sleeping on my right side. ( I have slept on my left side for years. I am trying to balance out my spine...it is quite uncomfortable still)

* brushing my teeth with my left hand. (i brush extremely hard...my left hand is weaker, problem solved.)

* soy protein shakes. (the Nitro tech stuff was too hardcore and makes me bulky. this is MUCH better.)

* air drying my hair. (it is getting long and thick again, takes too much time and energy to blow dry and this is healthier)

* running without music. (i like the thinking time...but I think it makes me slower)

* i rearranged the furniture in my room. (i like it. a lot.)

* sewing. (i wanted a particular apron and my pants hemmed... might as well do it myself.)

* swimming. (i can swim to not drown, but not to race...it is HARD but rewarding!)

* hanging out with people in my ward. (a diverse group made up of some of the coolest people in Provo)

* wearing stiletto platforms (it was an adventure...i didn't fall, but I have never felt so tall and thin)

they are just minor additions or alterations but it sure is interesting. sorry. my life is average.

my brain will not stop.

As you know, I often become fixated on listing things in my life; one being "Good Feelings". One of the best feelings for me is being productive. Even better is when I can be productive but stress free at the same time. I tend to be a high strung, stress case.  This is simply because there are so many things that I want to do, feel that I need to do, actually do NEED to do and I want to do them perfectly and in a timely fashion. I know that I am capable of such and so when I begin to feel myself veering towards the lazy, less productive side of life, I get very frustrated with myself and the world in general.

In order to have a bit more peace in my life, I have been trying to relax. This is much easier said than done for someone like me. I must always be doing something. Not in the ADD sense, but more because my mind is just constantly going and I need to distract myself somehow so that I can focus (doesn't make sense now that I write that, but it's true). So I realized that the best thing for me is to just organize my time more appropriately so that I may accomplish everything that I need and want to, with ease. 

And the best way for me to do this: waking up early.

Some people think that I am deranged for wanting to be up at the crack of dawn six days a week (I do sleep in on Saturdays...sometimes). I have always been an early riser and I credit this to my dad. There is something so rewarding about being the first to awake, to hear the birds, to see the sunrise, and to just envelop yourself in the peace of the early morning. I love that time of day. Sometimes it is more difficult than others, but waking up at 5:30 AM, taking time to have some sincere chat time with my Heavenly Father, a nice shower, some Shredded Mini Wheats with scriptures, and out the door by 6:45- that is a great morning. And when I have those mornings the rest of my day just falls into place. I get everything accomplished at work, a heart pumping workout after, maybe a little nap, other day to day tasks, a cuddle session with the boy and off to bed. I go to sleep exhausted, fulfilled and at peace.  This has been the best remedy so far. Perhaps I have written this in  defense of my cracked out REM cycles, but I really do highly recommend the early mornings.

more food...and stuff.

Ummm....ps :I am obsessed with these two snacks:

and that is how I survive 8 hour workdays without taking a lunch break. oh, and of course, plenty of this :)

Last night Hillwawee and I had a little dinner/movie/imdb/cuddle session. We watched this:

and it really was not that great... don't waste your time. A horror movie called the Stepfather...I am sure that you can only guess what happens.

and prior to that we ate here:

let's just say "you get what you pay for". 

I suppose it was somewhat of an evening of mediocrity, but it was wonderful to hang out with sister and relax!  And don't worry Ang, I cleaned like crazy for our cleaning checks :)

i should clarify...

ue to some interesting e-mails and texts from people that read my blog (geez guys, I had no idea you even read this...) I feel the need to clarify something. 

In reference to my post a couple days ago, I mentioned "D.", who I was going to marry and have babies with....hahahaha well, "D." is non existent. The idea of him was formed from my dear friend Danny (love love love you) who has beautiful teeth, is going to be a dentist and happens to love and want brown babies as well. Our future "marriage" is just a farce, it keeps us entertained,

So this is my friend Danny - and no, we are not really getting married... sorry to disappoint you. 

I will be sure to more carefully monitor myself when posting any inside jokes on here.