it will come.

i do not know if it is just the warmer weather, or because school is almost over, or because selection sunday is tomorrow, or because my life is just awesome- but whatever the reason or combination of variables, i am happy.

balance is necessary to achieve happiness. my wise ty friend has reminded me, on more than one occasion, that i need to look at the bigger picture.  instead of becoming frustrated over the fact that i may not have a totally balanced life in the moment (what mid twenties, student really does), look at the little things that balance out and put them into perspective to see how in the end- my overall life will have been balanced.  

personal examples:

study hard now (chem, psych, numbers, definitions, homework, barf)-> great job later. 

date wisely now (jerks, weirdies, waste of timers, awkwardness) -> strong marriage later. 

life's trials now (see above and throw in a few flaming balls of fire) -> stronger everyday and a better companion, mother and friend for the lessons i learn.

exercise everyday (i currently can barely move my upper body due to soreness) -> longer, healthier life.

unfortunately, i am one that often times allows my impatience to overshadow even the blatant logic of those time consuming processes. so i have been trying to see the balance in the little things.

personal examples:

i miss my family (we are so spread out, living such different lives)-> we all make greater efforts to stay in touch and show love, creating an overall stronger unity in our family.

people disappoint us (directly or indirectly) -> the lord places amazing, compassionate friends in my life to remind me that not everyone is dishonest and selfish.

japan's natural disasters (need we say more)-> i look out the window at my safe little piece of home and just feel grateful.  

in retrospect, there are even smaller things that happen if i just take a moment to relax and realize.  my heavenly father finds countless ways to show his love for me, divinely outweighing the trials of life.  to be  little more specific, lately i had been allowing myself to be a big caught up in discouragement over other people's behavior.  i am flawed. so flawed. but basic morals and strong upbringing have taught me well enough to know that what other people were doing was tragically affecting their own and other's lives. but then one of my oldest friends comes out to visit me. he is one of the most christlike, compassionate and humble people that i know. my sisters call me to tell me that they love me.  the babies are talking and tell me all about their days. their innocent little minds just racing with what to share next. i talked to joely. i played like a child with my friends, our furnace got fixed, i ran 4 miles without ibuprofen, my scripture study has been all the more enthralling, the weather has been great.  noticing all of these little things and allowing myself to feel the joy that they bring, has allowed me to untangle myself from the discouragement that i was providing myself to feel based on other's actions.

sometimes the lord puts bumps and meanies in my world. but he throws in a whole lot of kindness, sunshine, family, and a couple of rude awakenings to remind me that i am not at the end yet and to just wait. i will see the balance one day.