I blame my parents.

Those two love birds are my parents.

Now let me just tell you what it is that I blame them for (please realize that I don't really blame them...). They have the perfect marriage. And when I say that it is perfect, I mean it. It is perfectly perfect. It is ridiculous.

One of my best friends is engaged; she and I were having a chat the other night and she was telling me how she is sometimes fearful of marriage because of what she has seen in her parents relationship. Fighting, settling, unhappiness, selfishness, etc. She even said "there were times when it would have been better for them to just be divorced..."

This of course caused me to reflect on my views on marriage (not that living in Provo and being quarter life would ever do that...) and my parents' relationship with each other. I told her quite the opposite. Basically that my parents marriage is so perfect that I am afraid to be married because the standard has been set so high, I can't imagine attaining something so flawless.

Just to give you an idea: I was about 15 years old. We were having family scripture study. Something was said by my dad (bless his heart) and for some reason my mom shut her scriptures got up and walked out of the room. That is THE SINGLE most upset moment that I had EVER seen them share. I went to bed that night convinced that they were going to get divorced. I told my mama about this later and she just laughed at me. But how lucky am I?? That is the absolute worst that I have ever had to see! I cannot recall them ever raising their voices at each other, my dad never slept on the couch, in fact most of the time they always WANTED to be together and to be kissing and all sorts of mushy stuff that was gross to us kids. Haha, whenever they would "make out" to provoke us, we would give the typical "ewww! stop!" and my mom would always say "would you rather your dad beat me?? I prefer this!"

My mom is a lucky lady. She married my dad when he was already a lawyer, settled and pretty much a total dish. He treats her so well. On almost a weekly basis, I could walk into their bathroom and see a note, card, flower or little treat that he had left for my mom, just to tell her that he loved her. If my dad and I ever got in an argument, he was always sensible and forgiving (very forgiving... I was a wretch. Hard to believe, I know). If I got in an argument with my mom- it never failed that the next morning, taped to my door would be a handwritten letter from my dad. It would be firm, in telling me to love and respect my mom, and that I had said things that were wrong. But it was always very loving and had some sort of advice for my own and our family's spiritual welfare.

My mom is a stalwart. Something I love about my mom is that she can make me laugh. Sometimes she is like a little kid when she gets excited. But she tries so hard to be the good, responsible mother, and so when that side of her comes out, it is SO MUCH FUN. I will always be grateful for her for this: whenever I had drama with friends or my sisters I would go to her and complain...she would ALWAYS say "well what could you have done better?". Now, at the time I wanted nothing more than to yell at her and tell her she was awful for not siding with me (ok family, we can admit it... I often did..sorry mama). But she taught my a very valuable lesson of taking responsibility and being mature in difficult circumstances. And I am very grateful for that.

These past few months since my parents have been home, I have grown much closer to them. I love them so much. They are amazing examples to me. While I may never have the marriage that they do, they sure have given me something to strive for. Their love for each other and our family are so deeply rooted in their love of the Lord. I can feel and see this. While perfect may sound impossible, and of course they have gone through huge trials (many presented by yours truly) I think that they are pretty close. Divorce and infidelity are so prevalent but my parents remain my beacon of hope.