beckie's blunderous journeys.

POP

2012-02-03T10:21:00.002-07:00

yesterday i walked around the mall with vale for a good half hour. she is patiently but furiously working on teaching me to implement "pops of color" into my wardrobe. she pointed out that when a guy (jared) notices that I tend to only wear neutrals, it is time to add a little spice.

but i love my neutrals and blacks and greys. they just go with everything. including each other. i like blending in (says the childsized, dark brown asian living in utah valley) but since this has been brought to my attention, i have noticed that i pretty much look like i am wearing the same 5 outfits everyday of my life, even though my closet is exploding. so either i need to mix it up a little to get more use of what i do have or i really only need 5 shirts.

well, obviously, i am not going to become a minimalists (ha. please.) so in order to be the most productive and cost effective about this, i have done a few things.

1. taken 45 gallon trash bags filled with clothes and shoes to DI.

2. shop better and less (less cardigans, pearls, and stripes).

3. always look for a little color.

4. try not to have an anxiety attack when someone hands a pair of colored denim pants to me.

and this is me today

please take note of that pop of color. thank you very much.

oh and this picture brings me to my second point. not only have i clearly wasted a LOT of time and money on clothing, but on getting ready. looking at that picture, i would say that i look pretty normal there. well...i woke up at 7:50 AM. showered, dried hair, made face, dressed, ate breakfast and hung up my towels all by 8:12 AM. it took me longer to drive from my house to my work (6.2 miles away) than to do all of that. AND while i was driving through the ridiculous traffic, i realized that i was surrounded by hondas, nissans, and other typical cars, more than half of which were silver(just like sally). and on 4/6 radio stations, there were songs on about rain (thank you npr for having something good on).

what does this have to do with anything- well it goes back to my pop of color for the day. it broke up the monotony for 1.2 seconds. at least in my mind.

it's my fault that i have no friends.

2012-01-30T11:12:00.000-07:00

this weekend, i did pretty much nothing. and i felt pretty much fantastic for it. however, i was sick on sunday, so i had to stay home in bed all day. and although i love my netflix, million pillows, down comforters and j took care of me, a whole day in bed is a little much. luckily, i am up and at 'em today.

but once upon a time i met this guy and he just started following me around. and then i kinda started following him around. and then we just kinda started liking each other. and then we just kinda started dating. and now we are just kinda in love and stuff and spend all of our time together and it is kinda out of hand ridiculous how socially irresponsible we have become.

i promise i love my friends, my family, my neighbors, my ward, etc. and i have never been the type to fall of the grid (because of a boy at least...i go off into beckieland all the time...) and leave my friends. and now i have these cute new things and habits and no one to show them to. how sad.

so i guess i will blog about them. and maybe go see some friends tonight.

there are a few things that i am really liking lately.

i generally steer away from the bold colored nail polishes. i always feel a bit irreverent in the temple with my nails screaming "color me coral". but that is what nail polish remover is for. and since i spend so much time typing on a computer (and break the rules by looking at my fingers half the time while i type), i figured they could use a little pizazzzz.

yep. emails and memos are suddenly SO much more fun. and by that i mean, it went from brain death to coma. there are signs of life!

now, at risk of coming off a hipster, i do love oxford shoes. i have always loved them. i had saddle shoes when i was little and platform oxfords that i wore all through middle school. but now they are just so trendy and i am not. since i also love ballet flats, i found a brilliant combo of both. they allow my feet and my ego to be a little more comfortable.

thank you tjmaxx clearance. ps i have received countless compliments on this consumer friendly find. which absolutely delights me and my frugal goaling self all the more.

i am also addicted to wearing my hair like this:

headbands are great. but i get headaches, so i cannot wear them for extended periods of time. i generally reserve my headband wearing for cardio. but this way, i have a little something, it holds my hair in place, gives a little shape (no backcombing necessary) and it finally says, "hey i spent more than 47 seconds on my hair today".

i also cannot stop playing scramble with friends. somehow i run out of time to shower, eat lunch, wipe the hair out of the sink, make my bed, but i have time to play 18 rounds of this a day. i think that it's a priority issue. but working on my lightening fast ability to see and create words is clearly of more importance to life than putting my socks in the hamper.

and more importantly than hair, shoes, games, and nails, jared and i both started the book of mormon over last week. it will be beneficial to both of us. esp because there are so many late nights and we both wake up early for work, sometimes scripture study falls by the wayside or becomes minimal at best. but this has been a great way to remember the importance of the scriptures in my life and seeing how being obedient to the small things will help my earthly and heavenly relationships.

my life is boring. but it is pretty great.

is it only 10:30 in the morning? i am already starving.

2012-01-23T10:47:00.001-07:00

as you know, the past couple of months, i have been trying to expand my culinary skills. true to beckiestyle, i do not like to follow recipes. i like to be guided by recipes and then add my own flair, tweaks, and love. sometimes it works out marvelously, other times...we would be better off fasting.

yesterday i tried a new crockpot soup. i rarely use my slow cooker, even though there are so many great recipes for it, i just never need to make that much food at a time. this time it was a victory. a few people wanted the recipe and stuff, so here it is:

32 oz frozen hashbrowns

42 oz chicken broth

1 can cream of chicken soup

pepper

1 package cream cheese (cannot be the low-fat kind because it will not melt correctly)

6-8 hours on high

i originally got the recipe from here. it seemed simple enough and we had red potatoes left over from earlier in the week and i had an 8lb ham to use up. (mama always put ham or bacon in her potato soup and it made it sooooo much more yummy!!!).

i put the hashbrowns, chicken broth, pepper, chopped red potatoes and cream of chicken soup into the crockpot. at about 3 hours in, i added the chunks of ham. and an hour before you are ready to serve, add the cream cheese. so it was pretty much the same but i did not add the onions (original recipe calls for 1/2 c), i added a little garlic, the potatoes (definitely recommend you add some...it just makes it better) and ham and it was some of the best potato soup that i have ever had. i cannot wait until it is 11:30 and i can go heat some up for lunchtime.

i am not trying to be one of those braggy cooking people, i just was so excited about how easy, inexpensive and surprisingly delicious this was, that i had to share.

besides eating yummy soup, it was a fairly relaxing weekend. watched some friends in their intramural team games, went to dinner, made breakfast with the ward, watched some movies, snuggled and just hung out. it was really nice.

oh we also went to the matt costa concert. now i know that i already said this to some people...but i felt bad for him. it was probably his worst audience ever. they set him up in the wilk with a $10 sound system and 300 zoobies. as jared said, it literally felt like EFY. it was like matt costa had been assigned community service and had to come to byu. it was real bad. felt awful for him. but it was still fun to go and his music is really good. but it is amazing how much the crowd affects the entire show...

ps i filed my taxes and i get.... wait for it.. $35 back! shopping spree???? :/

sometimes we are gross...

2012-01-19T14:01:00.001-07:00

last night after a nice 2 hour workout, we were starving. we decided to go to mcdonalds for a snack (naturally, work out and then go get fast food?!). i rarely ever go there, let alone really ever get fast food. but like i said, it was just a snack.

have you ever tried these? they are so good. cheaper than jamba and healthier. in fact, on the way home from our very first date, we stopped at a drive through and ordered these.

besides, after an hour of cardio, a cold smoothie sure does hit the spot (and luckily, they are small enough that there isn't enough lactose to hurt my tummy. fab.).

while jared was outside picking a redbox movie, i went in to order our smoothies and that was all we were going to get. but then i saw a sign for these:

McDonalds finally has a small chicken nugget type option on the value menu! the regular is $2 and we shared one. they were surprisingly good as well.

so if you are in a gross mood and want fast food or find yourself forced into a drive through situation, i recommend you give these a try.

i have small dreams.

2012-01-18T11:08:00.001-07:00

at first i thought that i had a rather boring weekend. but looking back, i realize that it was actually a pretty good one. friday night i had a couple social obligations... well i came home from work at 5 and fell asleep until 9. oops. but it did feel really good to catch up on sleep. i cannot remember the last time that i wasn't just a little bit tired. jared was understanding and let me have my nap and then we went to the gym. i have never been one to work out with other people. but it was actually pretty enjoyable. saturday morning we met up and went to yoga, then made a healthy breakfast and took care of our errands, homework, cleaning, etc. later that night, i accompanied the boys to the car show.

i loved seeing the old cars. and they were pristine. but i have to admit, the new cars were pretty darn nice. some were pretty interesting... and some (the bottom right) cost more than the average american home. why not, right? motivation for higher education. but the truth was...out of all those cars ranging from the ford focus to the maserati, my dream car was still,

that sweedish beauty. safe and pretty. powerful and understated. i loved it.

[segue here]

once upon a time i used to work out a lot. and i mean a lot. at least 2 hours a day and sometimes twice or three times or day. or i would just wear gym clothes constantly and run or use weights around my house, pilates bands, yoga balls, you name it. i loved it. but it was a little ridiculous. i wasn't trying to attain anything. i wasn't training for anything. yet i would blow off socializing to go the gym. i would end dates early so i could get to the gym. i would show up to dinner in gym clothes (...ok i still do that) i would watch the basketball games the gym instead of on the big screen with my friends. once...i even watched general conference on a treadmill.

but then i just kinda stopped. i don't know why. but out of nowhere, i just completely dropped it. i continued to run and do yoga of course but i became totally complacent about all of it, yet complained about my body.

sooo... i have started going back to the gym, running regularly, practicing yoga daily and eating healthier. and i have felt so much better. i sleep so hard. i wake up well rested and happier. i can feel my muscles getting stronger and my plushies less plushy. plus it has been good bonding time for me and the guy.

but there is one problem.

i am trying to eat healthier and he continues to eat like a 17 year old boy. and let's just say there are 2 pies there for a reason... i tend to give in. i am all about snacks and treats. i don't believe in depriving myself of things. just moderation and balancing out calories with exercise. vale sent this picture to me the other day

that is me in a 18 oz water bottle right there.

but anyway, jared is trying to eat healthier, i am trying to buy and cook better. in the meantime, when we aren't flirtatiously bickering over our treat binges or attempting to work those off at the gym, lookie what came in the mail:

keeping it old school and simple.

it is just THAT amazing.

2012-01-12T14:50:00.001-07:00

2 posts in 1 day? it must be important.

a microfiber bristle hairbrush! brush your hair when it is damp and it sucks the water out to help make it dry faster. this is amazing. i am pretty sure 90% of my electric bill comes from my hair dryer. and if i could cut down drying time, i could do my hair in 3 minutes instead of 20 (17 is spent drying). based on the added productivity and the environmental savings that this beauty offers, i MUST have one.

they are supposedly going to be for sale this year... i am on the lookout.

finally!

2012-01-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

after 3 months and 2 days of battling, crying, cursing and wanting to punch att, i now officially possess

it even has that very same case. the thing is like padded steel cage of protection. thank goodness. and no more fingerprints.

i have no idea how to use it. i had to get a new phone number again. and i am scared to death of breaking it.

tuesday tradition.

2012-01-11T09:43:00.001-07:00

jared and i both love movies, but movies and treats are expensive (relatively speaking). apparently when you are young, in school, dating and thinking about the future, you have to be smarter with your monies. so we usually follow provo protocol and stick to dollar movies. however, we have recently begun a new tradition. going to new movies for stimulus tuesday. movies are half price. popcorn and soda are a dollar. plus there is hardly anyone in the theatre and the seats have the armrests that go up so you can spread out and cuddle and stuff. yeah, we're gross.

last night we went and saw "we bought a zoo". oh my goodness. it was such a great movie. animals in distress (and widows/widowers, poor matt damon) are a major soft spot for me and i almost cried at least 17 times. i highly recommend this movie.

we also attempted (many many failed attempts) to take a picture of ourselves on our little date. for whatever reason, we just don't really have any together. maybe because we are always with each other and don't really need 'em? i don't know. but it was hysterical trying to get a decent picture and i am pretty sure that 19 efforts later, we still failed.

we are going to try harder to be a photo friendly couple.

oh ps we also went to DI to get some books for crafts that i am making and look at this fantastic find:

we found one of those enormous peppercorn grinders (like the kind they use in nice restaurants when they grind the pepper on your entree for you or on cool cooking shows) for $1!!! luckily, we both love black pepper. i am excited to make something for dinner tonight so that we can use it.

oh, and i still want to go buy a zoo. but for now, i will just have to anxiously await my earth day tradition of going to see the DisneyNature movie, chimpanzee!!! every earth day i go see their new movie. i almost cried in the preview. and opening week- Disney donates money to help save the chimps. i told jared that it's for charity, we have to go.

presents 2.

2012-01-09T10:48:00.001-07:00

i promised some people that i would blog about the things that j gave to me for christmas this year. well aside from coming to colorado for 5 days and putting up with the cold, crazy children and family bombardment, he also did this:

last time the cardinals won the world series, my dad sent a copy of the post dispatch to to me with all of the coverage in one of their special editions. i still have it and think that it is pretty cool. this year j and i watched the series together and it was great fun. and i told him that i was sad that we no longer lived in STL and that i would not get a post dispatch this time. i guess he took that seriously and went all out. so sweet.

in addition to my awesome new piece of "art", when we got to vegas he had me get dressed up and informed me that we would be going on a fancy date (we like to do these from time to time).

we began with dinner reservations at this fantastic italian place (bad breath inducing foods is a great way to keep a chaste relationship...) and then he took me to see

phantom of the opera!

i had not been to a real play in years. and i had not ever seen phantom, the opera, play, movie, or anything. i loved it. the music was familiar and the play itself was just really impressive. it was fun to dress up and go out together on our fancy date. the funniest part is that on our plane ride to vegas, i saw an advertisement for the play in one of those skymall magazines. i asked him if he had ever seen it and had him explain the story to me. i told him that i would really want to see it sometime and he simply shrugged and agreed.

little did i know what was awaiting.

i kind of have a great guy on my hands. he is thoughtful and funny and nice and cute and keeps me warm and drives me places and reads all the dumb articles that i forward to him. plus my nieces love him and say that he is nice because he will play dollys with them. i guess i'll keep him around.

that about wraps up the holiday happenings of 2011. onto 2012 we go.

oh ps: we also both received giant tin boxes of dominos from each other's families.... can you tell what we love to play?

the undiva.

2012-01-06T15:58:00.001-07:00

once upon a time i only wore and used expensive makeup and stuff.

and now i only require what you see above.

those have been my staples for 2 years and going strong.

i used to spend more than all of that combined for mascara... bad beckie.

i may still say "i NEED that cardigan. i NEED to try that new blah blah. i HAVE to get a new pair of jeans, shoes, earrings, and stuff". but the point is, i am learning.

and if you cannot tell, i am learning how to use picnik.com better too... :)

presents 1.

2012-01-05T10:34:00.001-07:00

i put this picture on my facebook page a few weeks ago.

which makes me feel rather guilty to post about all the presents and cool things that i received over the holiday season...but i am doing it more out of grattitude for the thoughtfulness of my friends and family. plus...i can say with all sincerity of heart, that my favorite part is getting presents for other people. christmas shopping can be emotionally and physically exhausting but only because i always want to get the PERFECT gifts, not because i hate the gifting, that is the most fun part! sometimes i forget to show my excitement when i receive presents because i am still just so excited for people to see what i got for them.

these are some of the things that i received this year (not including those from jared, that will be in a separate post).

i was given a lot of things that i needed and had actually asked for. i already showed you my new gold watch. and that blanket has been my best friend since the moment i opened it. i am wearing a little juicy and my organic sweatshirt right now and i cannot wait to wear my cute new shoes to church on sunday...plus my teeth are sparkling. it may seem lame to be excited about getting toothbrush heads for christmas, but that is one $23 expense i can spare myself. perfect. i love my running jacket (it is a rain slicker!), yoga mat bag and my water bottle has a credit card, cash and key holder in it! and who doesn't like monies and gift cards...not to mention when your parents pay for your plane tickets. i am spoiled. but i do love and appreicte the things that were given to me and will use every single one of them....well maybe not the disgusting gag gift (a gaudy, freaky clown pin).

the day after christmas i went to hobby lobby with my family to snatch up some deals and crafts to do with the kiddos....lookie at what we found:

someone stole baby jesus. seriously. i asked them. so they had to mark it like 80% off and sell it as is. take that how you will but it struck me as rather interesting. luckily i have a great mama that put together a cute little nativity skit for our whole family to participate in. it was really good to see the kiddos get so excited to be a part of it and to see how they are learning the story more and more every year. of course the wrapping paper explosion happened immediately after, but the efforts are definitely there.

anywho...it was a great time of gift giving and receiving and spending time with everyone. just wait until you see what j did for me...

2012-01-04T09:03:00.000-07:00

wait, what? christmas has already come and gone? and new year's? somehow i missed this. ok not really. but it all happened so suddenly and so quickly that it sure feels like it.

colorado was a great visit. spent the first few days playing with my sisters, the kiddos and hanging out at the little mountain homestead. it was the first time that i had been there since the parents got back from fiji. while they were away, they had some friends living there and they did a lot of cool improvements on the house. including a better wood stove, new counter tops and my favorite:

i know- who cares. but i love the little details in hardware pieces. the bathroom sinks have these killer vintage pump style faucets and i am pretty sure that i washed my hands 37 extra times just to play with them.

like these knobs:

they are so great. i just wish that i had more places to put them. and by more places i suppose that could mean furniture that is my own, not crappy particle board that comes with my overpriced apartment.

speaking of the little pieces, i also received this for christmas:

i had been wanting a large, goldtone, menswear watch for quite some time. but as they are far more pricey than my average time pieces (do $10 running watches count? or the watch of the person sitting next to me?) i have been hesitant/too cheap to invest. i rarely wear anything more than a pair of pearl earrings and pinky ring for daily accessories. but this little piece adds something fashionably functional and i love her.

i also like little things like,

nasty phone pictures with baby bugaboos. we went on a few snow hikes, saw a couple movies, ate non stop, played wii until we were sore, read books, and took naps. it was fairly ideal. including having jared come spend time with us (thanks mama and daddy for flying us home). this was the first time that i have ever had a boyfriend (notice that is ONE word. meaning we like each other...not just a friend that is a boy...ok moving on) come to my house, meet my whole family and spend an entire 4 days with us. it all went smoothly and was a lot of fun seeing him interact with everyone. em and josh were especially gracious and spent a lot of time with us and catered to our boredom with a lot more food, kids, laughter and games. it was great.

oh and mama made these for part of our christmas feast:

olives, carrots and cream cheese... in penguin form. vegetable appetizer perfection. nancy is the best.

i will have to do another post about the rest of the christmas gifts that i received, because this was definitely a good year. and those gifts deserve a post for themselves. i was so happy to spend my holidays with my family. it was just what i needed. lots of love and jesus and food. what else do we really need.

made it.

2011-12-22T22:34:00.000-07:00

in case it wasn't clearly evident in previous posts, i have been very excited to leave ut for a couple weeks and go spend the holidays with my family. we have our family traditions and we will have fun, but we never really do anything grandiose. but that is partially why i love it so much. it is just a relaxing bit of love.

because this is what my life normally looks like,

i love lists. but when i start to feel overwhelmed by all the lists and post its, i know that there is a problem.

but finals have been conquered and christmas is in 3 days!

my flight didn't leave until 12:30 pm. so i spent the morning cleaning up, doing some last minute packing and playing with jack.

yes. that is me. and a cat. he is my 3rd roommate. he actually belongs to my other roommate taryn. i have always hated cats and i still do and sometimes i wanna punch this one...but other times he really is just adorable and sweet. yes he is the reason i have to take claratin everyday, keep my door shut at all times and a lifetime supply of lint rollers, but he sure is a sweet kitty.

i also broke in my new $2 shoes.

thanks to this website, i print off the best coupons ever. along with some holiday deals, these cutesy tootsies cost me $2. awesome. um ps, i am cheap. but they were originally $69....so no matter how you look at it, these were a steal.

this is how i survive travels.

big bag of books, big bag of snacks, ipod, chapstick, toothbrush, water bottle, lint roller and non drowsy anti nausea meds. the pharmacist was amazing. he told me to try this particular kind because it wouldn't make me tired and i could take it only if i needed to- unlike dramamine, which is preventative, but exacerbates the sickness if you take it too late. he even picked out the cheapest one for me and it worked like a charm.

a carry on, a bulging purse and 48lbs of luggage- i am ready to go.

well the flight was delayed a total of 2 hours. then hanging out in the denver airport for 3ish hours. awesome. then a nice ride to the springs and now snuggled in bed with my sister watching snl videos and laughing hysterically. this is good.

PS. you know what is also good? fedex. random i know. but yesterday i had to take a ginormous box to fedex. they are brilliant and have double automatic sliding doors (so none of that awkward, difficult door opening) and then a man meets you at the door and carries it for you. and their logo- the secret logo- mind blown.

in lieu of the christmas holiday,

2011-12-21T10:37:00.003-07:00

don't you think that the airlines could maybe pretty please waive those ridiculous baggage fees?? $25 per bag and a 50lb maximum. i am asain, thus i am fairly talented at math, and if my genetic talents don't fail me, that is $.50 a lb and in my opinion, absurd.

this also causes cheapies (like myself) to try to stuff as much as possible in the largest carryon bag as possible. which means that there are all the more of those people reaching up over your face to jam their bags in the overhead bin. i am pretty sure that this delays flights all the more. oh, but though i am cheap, i am considerate. so i will NOT be using a lovesac sized carryon. merry christmas.

i am willing to pay this fee because it means that i am one step closer to playing with the bugaboos and bringing their christmas presents to them (yes i buy the love of children).

and even better, em is pregnant again, so it will be three and half kiddos to spoil. cannot wait. those turds are totally worth my baggage fees and ten million other fees they tack on.

i am excited to be home and to do nothing but relax, eat, play, nap, talk to my parents, snuggle with my sister and tromp around in the colorado mountain snow.

last night valentina and i spent a good 4-5 hours making balls.

oreo truffle balls. mmm. yeah we made a lot to give away. it was pretty fun. there were a few explosions and lots of "oopsies" along the way, but after 60 or so, we started to really get the hang of it.

you do know that calories don't count in decemeber, right?

ps speaking of flights, this cracks me up.

you know it is going to be a good day when...

2011-12-20T09:58:00.000-07:00

you are driving to work, showered, hair washed, matching outfit and actually not yawning.

on this drive you see that the average gas price is down to $2.95 (yes, this is a HUGE deal).

then your friend sends a text to inform you that upon your suggestion, he went and purchased one of the most bamf lamps ever.

a vigilante display at its best. who doesn't love the macmanus brothers. and what says merry christmas like a firefight.

and then upon arriving at work, your boss calls to say that he is bringing hot drinks.

and look at the spill stopper that came on my hot cocoa.

that's right. a nice holiday one...with vixen. how fitting. bawhaha, not. but still, had to giggle. and their hot cocoa is fantastic and they use all eco friendly, thermal paper cups and soy milk. thank you.

and tonight vale and i are having a festive baking evening, probably watching elf again, and avoiding the cold.

but i would like to say, that last night i finally went for a jog and did yoga... and i am feeling like a limber champ. you have no idea how couch potatoish i have become the past couple months. well maybe you do if you have seen me...i am a fatty. ok not fat, but plushy. well maybe not even plushy...but definitely NOT still in summer body mode. i am sure that tonight's baking will really help that...but it's christmas, jared has left me to my lonesome apartment, my married friends are doing married and family stuff, and i don't get to go home for 2 more days. sometimes i eat my feelings and sleep off my guilt. don't act like you've never done that...

what is love.

2011-12-19T15:43:00.002-07:00

according to some children, very wise beyond their years, love is:

"when the way they same your name is different. you just know that your name is safe in their mouth" - billy, age 4.

"when a girl puts on perfume and boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other"- karl, age 5.

"when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your french fries without making them give you any of their's." - chrissy, age 6.

"it is what makes you smile even when you're tired"- terry, age 4.

"when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure that the taste is ok." danny, age 7.

"when you kiss all the time. then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you stalk more. my mommy and daddy are like that. they look gross when they kiss. - emily, age 8.

"when you tell a boy that you like his shirt, and then he wears it everyday." noelle, age 7.

"during my piano recital, i was on a stage and i was scared. i looked at all the people watching me and i saw my daddy waving and smiling, he was the only one doing that, i wasn't scared anymore. that is love." catie, age 8

"when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." elaine, age 5.

"when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." maryann age 4.

"when my gramma got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her tones anymore. so my grampa does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. that is love."

"when you love someone, your eye lashes go up and down and lots of little stars come out of you."

"you really shouldn't say i love you, unless you mean it. but if you mean it, you should say it a lot. people forget a lot."

love is also when your boyfriend stays in provo 3 extra days so that you don't have to be alone because you have to stay longer and work. and when he picks out really cute shoes for you and makes all the other girls jealous. or when he shares your toothbrush and does baking soda microdermibrasion with you. or when he lays there and laughs and talks in funny voices with you. and when he kisses you and you tingle. and when he drives you around everywhere because you are afraid of driving at night, even though his car gets horrible gas mileage. and when he tells you that you aren't fat but that we should probably start running together.

those things are love too.

oh and watch this.

"my mama always said

2011-12-16T11:12:00.000-07:00

life was like a box of chocolates. you never know what you're gonna get".

well thank you mama gump.

this is the typical demise of a box of chocolates that comes my way,

a tiny piece gets broken off each one so that i can tell which ones i want to eat or not. orange cream, coconut cream, anything cream, see ya. caramels (which i now know are the milk covered square ones and i always take those asap) are mine mine mine.

BUT this is no longer going to be the case (at least not all the time). one of the duties of my job being an executive assistant includes opening and distributing all of the daily mail. as of late, this has included a various array of christmas (or shall we say holiday cards for the sake of political correctness...naaa screw that. manners and politics are toast anyway) cards and gifts.

today we received a lovely box of chocolates.

this is what they looked like,

they were even the good kind. i am not a huge chocolate lover, but i had to admit, they smelled nice and looked appealing. however, they were ALL milk chocolate squares...thus poking a black hole into my caramel distinction theory.

well low and behold, we were not only given a box of goodies, but also a gift of brilliance. the bottom of the box showed this:

there is a tiny design on top of each truffle...it looks like someone just drizzled the last drips of chocolate. but no. there is sheer genius behind that finishing touch. each one is actually in a distinct shape to indicate what flavor is beneath the chocolate exterior!

no more of those crappy paper thingys that never make sense anyway. this was so much prettier, less paper waste and stuff. utah has done something right. way to go.

yeah...i was that excited about it. but in my defense, so was b. i ran into his office to show him and usually

when i shove my discoveries in people faces i get 1 of 2 looks.

1. the "seriously? how old are you? do you have no life? this excites you? you're kinda retarded huh? guess i should smile and pretend i care" look.

2. the "beckieee...this came out like 4 years ago.. where have you been? why are you excited about something that is so obvious... but again, you're kinda retarded so i guess i will smile and pretend i care" look.

this time, my show and tell was received with wide eyed agreement.

thank you and goodnight.

truths list.

2011-12-14T10:21:00.001-07:00

the only way that you could NOT know that i am obsessed with lists would be if you did not know me AT all. someone who does know and love me a lot, sent this list to me and i laughed my bum off while having several "oh my gosh, YES. nailed it." moments.

and for your laugh lines, i will now share this list.

truths for mature humans.

1. part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die (thank you google incognito... no one needs to know how much time i spend on pinterest, online shopping, and all the really really random and silly things that i wiki...).

2. nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong (luckily that is VERY rare).

3. i take back all those times that i didn't want to nap as a kid (oh how i love naps. and juice boxes. and being tucked in. and having someone brush my hair).

4. there is a great need for a sarcasm font (i would probably have to type in that all the time and then have my serious statements unsarcasamed... that would save a lot of time and inadvertent offensive moments).

5. how the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet (good gosh they look awful).

6. was learning cursive really necessary (only when in a hurry..it is like they KNEW we would get too busy to actually write out our letters).

7. mapquest really needs to start their directions at #5...pretty sure i know how to get out of my own neighborhood (...let alone driveway).

8. obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died (what, i get curious).

9. i cannot remember the last time that i wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. bad decisions make good stories (welcome to my blog of blunders).

11. you never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you are just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day (approx 14 minutes ago).

12. can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after blu-ray? i don;t want to have to start my collection over...again.

13. i am always slightly terrified when i exit out of word/excel and it asks me if i want to save any changes to my ten page document that i swear i did not make any changes to...(i lose minutes off my life every time).

14. "do not machine wash or tumble dry" means that i will never wash this. ever. (or even buy it...)

15. i hate when i miss a call by the last ring, but when i immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail (what did you do when i didn't answer? drop the phone and run away?)

16. i hate leaving the house feeling confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day (what a waste. boycott getting ready.)

17. keep phone numbers in your phone just to you know who not to answer when they call.

18. i think that the freezer deserves a light as well (so true... i blame my freezer burned foodies on the things that i could not see shoved back there in the arctic shadows).

19. i would rather try to carry 10 overloaded bags in each hand than to take 2 trips to bring my groceries in (i consider it my weight training for the day).

20. the only time i look forward to a red light is to send a text (texting while driving is dumb and i swear this makes the light go green faster..).

21. i have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger...(if you are eating while reading this, it is not because you are hungry, it is because you are bored).

22. how many times is it appropriate to say "what?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

23. i love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front (stay strong brothers and sisters, stick it to the UT drivers!).

24. shirts gets dirty. undies get dirty. pants? pants never get dirty and you can wear them forever.

25. high school kids get dumber and dumber every year.

26. there is no worse feeling than that millisecond you are sure that you are going to die after leaning back in your chair a little too far (or when you think that there was one more stairstep).

27. sometimes i'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

28. even under ideal conditions, people have trouble finding their car keys in the pocket, their cell phone while talking on it, their car in the parking lot... but everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away in about 1.7 seconds (eyes closed, first time, every time).

domestic goddess.

2011-12-12T09:48:00.001-07:00

my friend andrew refers to me (in a disturbingly mocking tone, of course) as a domestic goddess. because it is very clear that i am anything but that. i hate crafts. i love the idea of them and i love the idea of creating things and saving money and stuff. but the process really blows. few things make me as agitated as crafts (those other things are the post office, bank, dmv, rubber neckers, bad drivers, toothaches, ill behaved children...). yet i find myself drawn into the evil pool of the do-it-yourself blogs, pins and braggers. and though i may be setting women's lib back a good 4 decades or so, i still feel the biological obligation to embark on this journey towards female domestication. i generally fail miserably at this and just put it by the wayside and continue along my way in beckieland (feeling completely justified with my cooking, cleaning, nagging, babysitting, nursing, needy, ironing and poor driving skills). but one of my best friends, valentina, said something about me the other day that rang frighteningly true. she was explaining to jared how much i like to play games and how well i play them, but then she said

"i have never seen a game that beckie isn't good at. but then again, if she isn't good at it, she won't do it. so i guess no one would ever see her be bad at it because if she was bad it, she just wouldn't do it".

oh, the truth hurts. but why spend emotional exhaustion and time on something that i know i am bad at? i guess that whole personal growth thing... ? such a waste.

well last weekend i decided that i was going to do a craft. a real craft. not the cool kind (which would include saws, wood, power tools, home depot trips, super glue and paint) but the truly frugal, pinterest worthy, DIY craft. so while jared and the guys were hard at work on their school project, i went to work on mine (they got to use marbles, k'nex and hammers...they suck).

this was an HOUR AND A HALF, 4 curse words and 3 burned fingers and absolute determination to conquer this damn foam tree, into the project.

this was THREE AND HALF hours, 27 curse words, 10 burned off finger prints, frazzled hair, 1 bead of sweat and a chest bump worthy amount of victorious pride in my heart. i was ready to set the thing on fire but i am proud to say that i did it.

yes, i am gross.

and i just might blow it up for new year's eve.

last week.

2011-12-01T11:49:00.000-07:00

last week was spent in las vegas with jared and his family for the holidays. it was quite the experience. this is the first time that i have gone home with a boy other than just guy friends. but i suppose overall, it went well. our families are very different, so there was and still is a lot of learning to do. but it was fun to get to know them better and understand j better as well. we played a lot of games, ate a lot of food (i had my first real deep fried turkey), played more games, took naps, played with the kiddos, and stuff. it was great.

he has the cutest little nephews. they make me feel so loved and special. i wish i would have gotten a few pictures of them. they really are picture perfect little toeheads. after our morning of shooting lots of stuff, we went to panera bread- that was soooo great. i miss that place a lot. we met up with scotty a few times too and the good times just kept rollin.

we kinda forgot to take any pictures while we were there...but this is us heading back to provo. awful experience. but we made it. and jared finally shaved.

i survived off of my favorite road trip snack

see how it is even the new bigger size? this is why america is fat, but it is also why i was very happy.

and now we are officially back in cold, poopy provo. just a couple more hectic weeks before finals and then jetsetting home for christmas.

in other big news... i accomplished something pretty big. i actually did one of the crafts from my pinterest. i am helping with the corporate christmas party details. gift cards are so impersonal as it is... so i decided that they should at least be cute.

well it took forever and i realized that being cute may just not be worth the hassle. especially when i realized that everyone will probably just rip them apart, take out the gift card and throw out my packaging. oh well. tis' the season to be a little fancy.

and in more great news:

the nba lockout has been ended. phew. the jazz might not be that great this year and i still wish that jerry was coaching, but at least my winter blues will be able to find some solace in the game.

ps i figured out how to use facetime on my phone...

security.

2011-11-22T12:42:00.000-07:00

i have not changed the door knob on my bedroom since i lived in orem, years ago. but i realized, with the holidays, anyone would know that all of these student apartment complexes become ghost towns. so i decided to get a keyed entry doorknob for my bedroom. i like to think that since i am on the second floor and you cannot reach my windows, that if anyone tried to break in, it would help a little? i don't know. but it made me feel better about the safety of my things while i am away (i will have princess shiba, my phone, my ipod, and by bike key, and pretty much anything of monetary value with me, but what if they try to steal my shoes or something? or my books? safety first).

jared subscribed to the idea and so we went to home depot last night (i love that store so much) to purchase a new knob (he is also quite the bargain shopper). upon returning home, he offered to come over and switch out my old doorknob for the new one (he is a kind gentleman). i insisted that i was perfectly capable of switching them out myself (i am a prideful dummy)... well the next thing i knew, i was shut in my bedroom and completely unable to open the door. immediate claustrophobia set in and i called jared back in a humiliated panic to come let me out. by the time he got there, i had taken it apart and gotten out in one piece...but still. moral of the story: i am kinda like a guy- i think that i can do anything and fix anything. and worse, that i don't need instructions. in my defense, i am more handy than most females, but also impatient and hardheaded when it comes to completing projects...and this can lead to being locked in my bedroom with no way out.

i about 4.5 hours, we will be on the road to j's homeland... the fabulous las vegas.by no means to i feel any affinity towards that city. it is filthy, windy, dry and there are no trees. but he insists it is a pretty great place. i am perfectly happy to spend thanksgiving with his family and in the nevada sunshine... but i will have to keep an open mind during this visit as far as coming to a liking of the place.

oh and one perk of being child size is that you can wear shoes from the kids' stores. and in my case, i did just that. saved more than 50% off the adult price. and i love them.

finally got my gray vans.

i hate malls.

2011-11-21T11:48:00.003-07:00

bet that you never thought i would say that.
i live for my weekends. usually by friday, i am so burned out from everything earlier in the week, that all i want to do is eat a real meal and go to bed. it also means that j and i get to spend all day together. this weekend was super busy. friday night we went to the byu hockey game and it was a lot of fun. i will admit, the first hour or so i spent my time focusing on this:

having a smart phone is a blast. yesterday while j and i were waiting for interviews, we sat out in the foyer playing games together. when i was waiting in a long line at the store, i played solitaire. it is just great.

after the game we (the boys and me, what's new) went to the cocoa bean. the cocoa bean is actually a really great idea. this little place has all the yummy coffee/tea drinks, sans coffee/tea! and they are super yummy and appropriately priced. i tried out their pumpkin drink and it was chai tea (christmas in a cup) without anything questionable. just yumminess.

saturday after a very productive morning of cleaning, reading and homework, j and i went up to murray to go to the fashion place mall. the new H&M , Crate and Barrel and this place,

had all just opened. a whole North Face store. even j who thinks that it is boring and overpriced was impressed and found things that he liked. the rest of the experience was a bit overwhelming. i have never been in a busier mall in my life. it was rude, pushy, loudness everywhere. we walked into j.crew which was significantly more open and lacking crowds and we both just let out a sigh of relief. but we were able to find two suits for j, so overall, it was a productive trip.

last night we made a really good dinner together again. i highly recommend

gold'n plump chicken. they are prepackaged in their marinades and ready to be cooked or frozen right away. the 4 packs go on sale all the time at target. and they have a lot of different flavors. plus they are quality meats and have hardly any calories.

we leave for vegas tomorrow and i can hardly concentrate. i want to get out of provo so badly. i would like to get out of utah permanently, but i will take a 5 day break for now. i have already downloaded the first 13 hours of Atlas Shrugged for us to listen to on the way down. we cannot wait to get out of here, be someplace warm, play with the kiddos and eat like fat people. mmmm.

some of my favorites.

2011-11-17T12:07:00.001-07:00

ok, not the best picture, but she is one of the best kiddos ever. that is anaya. or pie. or nya. or princess. or pretty. she has more names than sean diddy. she is getting to be so smart. she will be 4 years old in december and for the first time in a couple years, i will actually be able to be there to celebrate with the family. i am so excited. and why is she so great? well just look at her.

she has fabulous style. she was about 2 years old when she got her pink crocs, look at those baby feet. so cute. i just wanna eat em. she also loves to wear everyone else's shoes. and she has recently received her first "pearl" necklace.

she has always been a great helper.

and she is just so darn tootin' cute.

she is quite the chatty one as well. luckily for me, she is also extremely smart. one of the most precocious little girls on the planet. most kids ask "why?" but she takes it so much further. she wants to know everything. "how big? how old? where are you? what does it smell like?", etc. she hates to hang up the phone and whenever you do tell her you have to go, she gets so sad and makes you feel like the worst person in the world for ending a call. last night was a rough one and so i called emily and she let me talk to anaya. jared and i sat in the family room listening to her and just laughing so hard at some of the things she was saying. she is such a girly girl. i didn't think that i would have as much with her as i do with her brother, but i was wrong. i am such a lucky aunt.

and here is my other favorite.

he is always so helpful. such a gentleman. honest and kind. and he tries lots of new things with me. he even helped me on craft night (he officially experienced the miracle of mod podge).

he loves detail. all the little things that make the difference. he pays meticulous attention to everything.

and he has cool friends and great music taste. yes, they look a little weird...but they are cool. i promise.

he is the best guy (dad aside) that i know. he takes such good care of me and makes me so happy. we have a lot of fun together. sometimes we laugh so hard other times we have the deepest conversations i have ever had. he is so smart and such a hard worker. like i said, last night was a doosie. but we both had homework to do. so we went back to his apartment, he sat me down on the couch, grabbed a blanket and some cookies and rubbed my feet. told me he loved me and brought his laptop over to do some smart finanacy stuff. perfect, right?

dindin.

2011-11-16T11:44:00.003-07:00

i wish that i would have taken pictures of last night's dinner. it was so good. i am not that great of a cook and i am not sharing this for praise, but because it was just so easy and delicious.

j is a good man to keep around. he picked up the chicken before i got home from work and helped me cook and then did the dishes. lucky beckie. we made chicken wrapped asparagus.

ingredients

* 3 large chicken breasts, pounded

* 3 oz cream cheese (or more if you want it more creamy)

* 6 T sun dried tomato pesto (i love giada's from target)

* 15 stalks of asparagus

* olive oil

* rosemary

* all spice

Salt and Pepper

jared had a great time pounding the chicken. make sure that you use the mallet side, not the tenderizer side. then we lightly brushed the chicken in an olive oil, rosemary, all spice, s&p mixture. then we spread a mixture of the cream cheese and pesto on the chicken. next, we placed 5 stalks of asparagus in the middle. and lastly, we rolled the chicken up around the asparagus and used cooking twine to hold it together.

we topped each roll with a little bit more pesto, put them in the oven at 375 degrees for 40 minutes. it came out perfectly. it was so yummy.

i highly recommend trying this recipe. it was fun to throw spices together and try things and they look really pretty when you take them out of the oven (they say it's all about the presentation...). cooking for two is so much more fun.

we ended the night seeing this movie, again.

it was in the dollar theatre and we had already seen it in the big kid theatre, but loved it so much, we went again. i also recommend it. i don't even watch ufc or really enjoy it, but the story overall and the acting, etc, soo good. j and i both love eating and movies....we are gonna get fat.

i am generally against

2011-11-15T09:56:00.000-07:00

participating in anything for christmas (besides shopping) until after thanksgiving. i was thrilled when i saw this:

but i have officially caved and given into the holiday treats. it started with a bag of

but last night it escalated to

i wanted a mirror so that i could get ready for the day in my own room. sharing the bathroom with one outlet, limited space and cranky morning people is just no bueno. jared was so sweet and jetted us off to target to get a mirror. when we walked by the christmas tree cakes we both got so excited at the exact same time. they are so gross but so wonderful. we may have bought more than one box.

we are sort of obsessed with this too

archer farms blueberry granola with flax. i have been trying to get j in the habit of eating breakfast. he is a stubborn little stinker sometimes but this seems to be helping.

but i am still holding off on the christmas music. for those that choose to participate in the festivities early, i say go for it. if it makes you happier and treat the people around you better- how bad can it be?

just remember to be thankful first. i love thanksgiving. i love eating until i cannot eat anymore. i love the autumness and family get togetherness of it. this year i will be celebrating in vegas... i am skeptical as to how autumny it will feel without any trees... boooo.

birthday weekend.

2011-11-08T12:59:00.000-07:00

thank you to everyone that reached out to wish a happy birthday to me this weekend. it was a great birthday. here comes the sappy stuff.

i woke up to find little notes all over my bathroom mirror from j and then a bag full of all of my favorite snacks. including a nice big pack of these

i love these to go packs of peanut butter. i could just eat them with a spoon...but as that is generally found odd in public, i use crackers or apples. j was so sweet to think of all my favorite things.later at work we had a mini birthday treat time and they ordered the BEST pumpkin pie cake. it is soooo good. and then these beauts were delivered to me. i blushed, i giggled, i was awkward, i pretended like i get flowers all the time, secretly-i was elated.

i came home to a few more lovey presents and surprises and then we hit the road and went to a cabin in pine valley with j's family. sure we had to drive through an arctic blizzard and the crowds of ignorant drivers, but once we arrived in one piece (always say a prayer before you go on a road trip), it was so much fun just hanging out, eating yummy meals, playing games, 4 wheeling, playing with the kiddos, and getting to know more of his family better. i was surprisingly comfortable around all of the strangers and was happily eased into the walker style family game nights. i have a feeling that thanksgiving and new year's will be very interesting...

unfortunately my phone had no service up there and so i didn't see any of my birthday messages until sunday night, but they were appreciate nonetheless.

but i also received a couple other perfect presents.

i love working out with kettleballs. but i did not own one. so now i have one to add to our "workout center", also known as the family room.

and then j, being the generous man that he is, surprised me with one more gift.

a brand new, hardbound copy of atlas shrugged. i am repeatedly referencing this book and telling him that he must partake of this gem. but my first copy i turned into a wreath... the second copy has been lent out to a friend and appears to have gone the way of the earth (i am betting that when he realized it was over 1500 pages, he gave up on the idea and just never returned the book...stinker). so this was the perfect present. i cannot wait to read it again.

it was a good birthday. it was a great weekend. and mama and dad are coming this weekend to play some more and to meet j. luckily they have spoken before...but this is still...kinda...huge.

oh speaking of mama, she is also now on pinterest. and when i asked her what she would like for christmas- she replied with an email containing links to online stores with the wii games and accessories she would like....this would equal out to me having the coolest mama ever.

well...hello.

2011-11-04T11:49:00.001-06:00

it's been a little minute since i have blogged (approx 648,000 minutes...). i have had every intention to post again but i was just getting so far behind and it was overwhelming trying to think of a way to write about everything that has been going on. because you know me, my life is so exciting and there is always something new and fabulous worthy of cyber report. i lieu of the sarcastic nature of that previous statement, i am going to proceed with this post as though there has been no hiatus.

this past week we had our first snowfall. i was not happy about it because i do not like being cold. however, all things considered, this has been a very mild end of autumn thus far. the night prior to the mini blizzard (like 100 snowflakes total), j and i had been outside in shorts playing tennis. such pleasant weather should have been a red flag. as soon as i felt the chill that morning, i knew that there was only one thing to do. make grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner that night.

i never buy bread. and i definitely don't buy grandma sycamore bread. not because it is bad but because it is so ridicuously good, that i could eat a whole loaf in a sitting. however, if you don't have fresh sour dough, it is the only way to go. and i don't believe in kraft singles. cheddar is better. lots of butter, a pan and some heat and yum. pacific organic soups are my favorite. add some basil and you have a warm, yummy meal. and of course, you may only cut your sandwich in triangles, how else can you effectively dip??

i enjoy cooking. i have a lot of fun learning new recipes, making up my own and trying new foods. it has been fun to make dinner for j and myself a few nights a week. and the best part:

i cook, he eats and then he helps clean (and always takes out the trash), it is a beautiful system we have going.

let's see....some other things that have been going on besides school and work... ummm oh yeah, the cardinals WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!

i hope that ya'll watched the series, especially the epic game 6. one of the most amazing displays of baseball that i have ever witnessed. i am so happy for our cardinals! although tony will be very missed. i remember dancing to this song in the fourth grade on his behalf. aww and remember ozzie? the good ol' days.

and for some more big news...( that is such a relative term)

i got my first pair of big girl, leather boots. they are a great winter accessory, fashionable and functional, but i could not bring myself to make the $200+ investment. well, thanks to birthday love and bargain shopping, i didn't have to. it is taking a little adjusting to wear something so trendy, but i have suffered through enough cold, wet footed winters. the time was at hand. plus they go so well with my other accessory obsession.

this is the best bag that i have ever had. they fold up into the tiniest things but hold SO many things! sturdy, classy, leather and waterproof. god bless longchamp.

i hate school. but i love my job. i miss my yoga class but have decided to get back into it myself. plane tickets for the holidays are purchased. new iphone is in the mail. the general conference issue of the ensign is here. j is the best and i love him a bushel and peck and hug around the neck. life is going well.

tonight we are off to a cabin in southern utah with his family. should be a great time. more bloggy love to come.

busy bee.

2011-09-15T12:31:00.000-06:00

i have been going 6:30 AM- 2 AM everyday the past two weeks- sans naps. needless to say, i am feeling a little bit exhausted. right now i am living off of

yep. soy nuts and cereal.

i am getting 3-5 miles in on a good day.

between work, school, callings, friends, working out, reading, and trying to maintain some sort of sanity, i am getting very excited for fall. it is my favorite season. nights are already quite brisk, mornings too.

2011-09-02T13:58:00.000-06:00

i have a strong love/hate relationship with pavement. and every aspect of running.

love: the skinny ankles

hate: the sore shins

love: my strong legs

hate: that they will never be slender

love: perfectly timed music

hate: when i get too used to my music

love: sweating.

hate: taking 2 showers a day.

love: beckie time.

hate: that i don't have enough time.

love: the health benefits.

hate: the messed up knees.

but there are more loves than hates. i love the feeling of my braid bouncing off my back. i love when i feel like i could go forever. but i also love feeling like i am about to die because then i know that i am doing something right.

but i should be truthful: i am not a good runner. i don't have perfect form. i am not fast- just too impatient to jog. i am awful at pacing myself. i have almost been hit by a car at least a dozen times. 90% of the time i run at night. in remote areas. now i realize that this is not the wisest habit...but i love going and going and then knowing that i HAVE to get back. so i try new routes, sometimes i get lost. but i always know that it is my body that will get me back home, no matter how long it takes.

i am not a marathon runner. i don't have a great body. sometimes i even get winded walking up too many stairs. but i love that i have a strong body and opportunities to use it.

one song that i LOVE to run to:

this song. over and over. not my kind of music. but it gives me that surreal high feeling. i recommend it.

.

2011-08-29T12:30:00.001-06:00

things are starting to fall into place for this upcoming year. anna and alexa both moved in this past weekend and school starts today. luckily, i only go tuesday and thursdays, but it will still be time consuming. but at least it is progress.

saturday was a fun filled day... it was, after all, the last saturday of the summer. dan and i had been wanting to go for a hike, so we rounded up a couple others and hit the trails. squaw peak trail, actually. it was a good hike. we had fun...but it has been determined that dan and i planning hikes is just bad news bears. last time was the jeep fiasco and this time it was two flat tires. luckily the manly men were able to collaborate efforts with les (les schwab mechanic, fondly now known as les) to get this fixed right up.

we came down off the mountain dirty, itchy, tanned and sore. but guess what (or should i say who) was waiting when i got back?

joely.

i KNEW he was coming. he had not told me that he was coming, in fact, we had been talking the day before and he never mentioned it. he made it sound like we wouldn't be seeing each other for a while. oh that jokester. sadly, he did not bring:

newman. joely's new puppy. i was so sad that he got a dog without me, but then when i saw how cute he was, i totally understood. but it turned into a night flurry of activity when justin and ethan showed up too. it is official, the boys are back in town and i am so happy. i always miss joel but i am so glad that he came for a 24 hour visit and that the others are here to stay.

church was a bit...overwhelming? i am used to having about 40 people there at the most. but there were about 120 this week. everyone was hopped up on that nervous energy of meeting and impressing new people. there was this constant buzz of hyperness around me. i came home exhausted from all of it. but i am sure it will be....great...

and now, i would like to introduce my friend, the doctor.

good looking man, right? yes i swoon just a little (i blame it on the cardigan). but really, he is one of my favorite people to talk to. sucky part is that he goes to med school in ohio... so our interaction is pretty limited to cyberspace and our 10 page emails. one reason i mention him, he has recently started a book collection. and by collection, i mean that he has amazoned everything that i have recommended to him. this is the picture that he sent to me last night.

this was in comparison to the picture i posted last week:

he is a minimalist. but well on his way. i find myself very excited over the literary achievements of others.
and um, he is cute. and nice. and smart. and funny. and stuff.

j.k rowling.

2011-08-24T17:01:00.002-06:00

"I've got two daughters who will have to make their way in this skinny-obsessed world, and it worries me, because I don't want them to be empty-headed, self-obsessed, emaciated clones; I'd rather they were independent, interesting, idealistic, kind, opinionated, original, funny – a thousand things, before 'thin'. And frankly, I'd rather they didn't give a gust of stinking chihuahua flatulence whether the woman standing next to them has fleshier knees than they do. Let my girls be Hermiones, rather than Pansy Parkinsons. Let them never be Stupid Girls."
— J.K. Rowling

i like her.

sunday school.

2011-08-21T13:18:00.004-06:00

i am lucky to be in the ward with one of the best sunday school teachers i have ever had. perhaps i hold this opinion of him because although he is much more intelligent than i am, we are good friends. but the reasons that we get along are based mainly on the fact that we process thoughts the same way. when he is not kicking my butt at mario kart or talking my ear off about hockey, we always have very stimulating conversation.
our first real spark of friendship happened 2 years ago. i was speaking in the ward for the first time and afterwards he stopped me and said,
" judaic numerology? i had no idea that you were the type to study that just for fun. and you quoted two of my favorite church scholars. well done."
so i had met a fellow nerd that enjoyed dabbling in a little pythagorean numerology and we also both love elder talmage. friendship was just meant to be. mike shared this with our class today:

When he was a student, Elder Talmage was once approached by a man offering to sell him an excellent oil lamp. Elder Talmage already had a lamp he felt was satisfactory, but he allowed the lamp seller to come up to his room to demonstrate.

“We entered my room, and I put a match to my well-trimmed lamp. My visitor was high in his praise. It was the best lamp of its kind, he said, and he had never seen a lamp in better trim. He turned the wick up and down, and pronounced the judgment perfect.

“‘Now,’ he said, ‘with your permission I’ll light my lamp,’ taking it from his satchel. … Its light made bright the remotest corner of my room. Its brilliant blaze made the flame in my lamp weak and pale. Until that moment of convincing demonstration I had never known the dim obscurity in which I had lived and labored, studied and struggled.”

Elder Talmage bought the new lamp, and he later suggested what we can learn from the lamp seller as we teach the gospel: “The man who would sell a lamp did not disparage mine. He placed his greater light alongside my feebler flame, and I hasted to obtain it.

“The missionary servants of the Church of Jesus Christ today are sent forth, not to assail nor ridicule the beliefs of men, but to set before the world a superior light, by which the smoky dimness of the flickering flames of man-made creeds shall be apparent. The work of the Church is constructive, not destructive”.

need i say more?
oh yeah. and i am a mormon.

immediate sharing.

2011-08-20T18:10:00.002-06:00

there is a particular boy in my life who knows me far too well, without even really knowing me. we have a beautiful friendship. and this is what he just shared with me via fbook and i have already read 4-5 times.

***please note: female readers do not just read drama filled, intense, fictitious novels. thus the melodramatic side of the reader that Urquico describes, is not always present (e.g. "weeping at 2 AM"? i don't weep. i sigh and sniffle, and only occasionally).

Date A Girl Who Reads by Rosemarie Urquico

(In Response to Charles Warnke’s You Should Date An Illiterate Girl.)

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

i would share the sports section.

2011-08-19T02:12:00.003-06:00

i moved into my new apartment officially. everything is in it's place and i feel homey. but the other girls are still not here yet. i am excited for them to move in, we are going to have a lot of fun living together and it will be nice to have some company.

but i gotta admit- living with ladies (as fun as it is...) is starting to wear out its welcome. when do i get to do this:

what could be better than snuggling up on sunday mornings with the paper and your honey. as much as i don't want to, i really have got to add the word "boyfriend" into my life (i just hate that word...so committal. makes me hyperventilate just to type it). or i am gonna be reading the paper alone for a looonnnggg time.

note to self: no more blogging at 2 AM...

katie's birthday.

2011-08-16T14:02:00.002-06:00

the original boys and girls got together for that pink haired girl's birthday.

katie's husband so lovingly prepared an evening of bowling, games and sushi in celebration of her birth.

my run that morning and the upcoming timp hike (at 1 AM...yeah don't run 10 miles that morning...) was a little too much for me and so i sat out the bowling. but i would like to toot my own horn and announce that the one time that i did go in b's turn- i got a spare. hell yeah. don't worry, he thanked me.

the roberts sisters, husbands and babies combined with beckie, carrie, brandon and spud- make for a pretty good birthday night dacia- we missed you more than you know. feel better and stop being married people busy all the time.). we also made a quick stop to kk's favorite place,

as if she needs to get any sweeter. the place is downright adorable. it seems to be ut county's way of providing a dc cupcakes. not quite as good, but we'll take it.

oh and did you know that you can become a VIP member to happy sumo and get half off every friday and saturday night?? best/worst news ever. hello edmame and wasabi.

and being 25 only makes riding a carousal that much better. especially when your ride looks like maximus.

it was so much fun to hang out with this group. there is always so much love and laughter in our moments together. i love my best friend, katie. we have celebrated many birthdays together now and i happily anticipate many more to come as we continue to add spouses and babies.

and... i am becoming more and more nested into my new apartment. sure the stacks of boxes are strewn everywhere... and with a lot of deep ujayii breathing, i am getting through it. our landlord agreed to have it professionally cleaned this week and my room is almost completely beckiefied.

and lookie what i did today.

1. used a coupon and price matching to get this bad boy for $8 (courtesy of katie's tactics and prompting)

2. built it all by myself.

3. only 2 screws leftover which i am SURE were just spares.

4. it is still standing.

5. it may be a plain, mass produced, particle board, bookshelf in a box, but i am still so proud.

nothing positive about this post.

2011-08-15T22:38:00.002-06:00

i am in the process of moving into my new apartment.

once upon a time i was dating a boy. he was a really nice boy and i liked him a lot. i never let people help me move because i feel like it is just too much exposure into my personal life- though i am severely organized, it just makes me feel too vulnerable. but anyway.. this particular time i did break down and allow boyfriend to help me. though he was skinny (like all the others...) he was strong and 4 hands made more sense than two. until...upon walking into my room he saw this:

(that picture is from today- but since that is only about 80% of my books, it was about that size at the time of this story). to which he said "beckie, this is ridiculous. we have to get you one of those kindle things. no one needs this many books. books are so archaic."

needless to say, we broke up. i love my books- but i am suddenly painfully aware of just how heavy they are. but that will not stop me from owning them.

my whole body aches and i am all the more keenly acquainted with just how much stuff i own. i can proudly and honestly say that i have not acquired much in the past couple of years- it is just still a lot of stuff. one day (when i have my own house and family) it will all come in handy. only real problem is that i have moved into an apartment that is identical to the one i was previously in- just this one has been maintained as a cesspool of filth. in every sense of the word. so all my stuff is sitting in its neatly organized stacks just waiting to be put into place. lucky me. yes...the clutter is killing me.

back to my bleach bucket i go.

j'aime toujours l'été.

2011-08-13T16:36:00.001-06:00

il est vrai.

again with all the fun, outdoorsy, freebie fun- how can you not love summer.

i go back to work next monday and school starts the monday after that. so this hiatus is just an overload of summer activities again. the nature of the events tends to remain pretty linear- just different bands at the concerts, different trails, different places, etc.

tuesday was our ward closing social. we had jet skis, wake boarding, foods, games and some great swimming. it is hard to believe that summer is really coming to an end already. i have not been all that active in the ward this summer (just the ward- not church) but i have come to know some great people thoroughly enjoyed my time there. and this would include getting to know my summer tennis friend. i would just like to say that our domination this week was probably hardly deserved, but such a pleasure nonetheless.

bright eyes was fantastic. i met up with arthur and company to enjoy of evening of second hand mary jane (wanted to throw up) and conor oberst in his all of his ecentric, talented beauty. the donwside of these concerts is that they bring out all sorts of trash. that is a very harsh and judgmental declaration but it is true. we saw so many teenagers bent over their bongs and just acting like idiots. so young and stupid. and worse- there were parents there doing the same thing with their little children (we literally saw toddlers). the smell and the thought of those poor kids' circumstances was nauseating. luckily, i was with a great group of clean cut, fun and responsible people. none of us ever have or ever would have anything to do with that, so we did our best to just watch the show.

friday, i played sidekick on a one day st. george excursion with b. nothing like the last minute to get those little things like classes and housing situated. we sang along to the world's most random playlists, talked about everything such a playlist could stir up, and laughed ourselves exhausted to the red rocks and back.

it is so pretty down there. i will always prefer my greenery and it was hotter than hades' armpit down there, but it is a beautiful area. we were just sad that we missed anna and t dawg. no worries kiddos- we will be seeing each other SOON!

i guess that planning on running a half marathon with people the weekend before graduation, spouse's birthdays and the last week of the semester is not the best idea...because no one was doing it anymore. so today i went for an epic trail run and then counteracted all of the calorie burning with another summer favorite:

and now i have to get back to packing and cleaning. so though it looks like all i am doing is having fun- it is busy. it is busyness that i create but it keeps me happy.

ps: i hate moving. i have done it quite a bit in the past few years and i really detest it.

genetics.

2011-08-08T23:47:00.002-06:00

oh my goodness...lisa just sent this picture to me and i had to share.

baby's first downward dog.

i am so proud.

she is a natural.

summer freedom.

2011-08-08T20:44:00.004-06:00

and i really do mean free.

one of the biggest perks about utah summers: there are adventures aplenty that won't cost a dime.

for example:

movies in the park. every monday, at rock canyon park- grab a cuddle buddy, some snacks and blankets and enjoy a new flick on a giant screen with a few hundred of your closest, thrifty friends.

trail runs: now that all the snow is melted, there are endless trails to choose from. weather you want to pound it out on foot or grab your bike- lot's of options.

then there is camping: if you already have own or have access to camping equipment, you can have a free night under the stars. this last weekend some friends and i did just that. grabbed some climbing and camping gear and headed for the mountains. my friend fuzzy and i threw on our matching shirts (we bond over a love of north face-literally, it is how we became friends) and scrambled up a mountain. i have approximately 14 cuts and scratches as a result of this decision but i would never take it back. i am glad that i have friends that go into adventure mode with me... i don't know if i am fearless or just stupid when it comes to this sort of thing. but no worries, having fuzzy as a wingman was much safer than the free climbing i barely survived beforehand. i know. i sound so hardcore. but i'm not.

i could barely move by the time we got back to the valley but there was no time for rest and lollygagging, because i had big saturday night plans with the boys....

i had no idea this man was so sexy. and we touched. i never get starstruck and i definitely was not freaking out but i WAS having the time of my life. it turned out to be the perfect evening for some tim, luke bryan and the band perry (ang and z- i thought about you guys the whole time- esp when l.bryan was busting out his "rain makes corn song).

and believe it or not, this was actually free too. gary had VIP suite tickets to the concert and i was one of the lucky ladies that was able to go. luckily, i also have pretty friends- so while walking around, a random man offered us pit passes. hence how i got right up to the stage. country music brings out all sorts of interesting types. i was groped, spilled on, and shoved around - but again, it was worth it.

last week we went to see thurston moore in concert and then this week...wait for it...bright eyes! salt lake has some surprisingly cool summer events open to the public and i cannot wait.

i am moving into my new apartment next week (cannot wait to live with anna and alexa) so the rest of this week will be consumed by working, running, yoga'ing, music, packing, boating, climbing, and hopefully some sleep here or there. i am a creature of habit- the packing activity aside- it will be a fairly normal, jam packed week in the blunderous life of beckie.

but PS: i have had a lot of people asking about where i have been and why i have been unresponsive to their friendly attempts of communication and i apologize. this is why. i am sucking the life out of my summer before school starts...in 20 days. and with one of my best friends being here this summer (for the first time in years), i have been taking advantage of that too. sorryyyyy.

rain.

2011-08-01T14:24:00.001-06:00

this is how i felt today. i have been wanting to check out some of the rock climbing in rock canyon. so today, for my day off, i went running up there... well it turned into a torrential downpour like fire and brimstone. i could hardly see anything at some points. i will be honest, it felt kinda hardcore to be racing up a mountain with the rain lashing at my entire body. so refreshing. but running on wet rocks and bouldering off trail to find good climbing spots- not the wisest thing that i have ever done (especially all by myself) and i have a scrape the size of texas to prove that. but it was all for the cause.

why does summer have to be almost over?!

we came, we did.

2011-07-31T01:27:00.003-06:00

or we saw, we conquered. however that phrase goes.

this morning my friend and i hiked up to silver lake. it was an absolutely perfect day for the occasion. we knew where the trail head was, but since there are several lakes and trails, we thought that we would explore a little and see how far we could get.

poor ruby got herself very intricately wedged between several aspens and dry dirt...bad combo (sorry papa randy).

well...

we made some friends (literally...they asked us to come jeeping with them sometime. digits exchanged and everything.). i was so pleasantly surprised at the readiness of strangers to come help us. mind you, this was no short task. we had gotten ourselves pretty far up there and caught in the tightest possible spot on that road. whoops. but 5 men, 1 beckie, 2 jeeps, 1 truck, 1 tow rope,1 wench and 1 hour later... we were ready for our hike.

holy gorgeous. it was a decently difficult hike (only priming us for timpanogas next month) and well worth it in the end.

when we arrived at the top, we were greeted by this lovely lake scene. and of course there is only thing to do when you reach the peak of a hike- jump in. but please note all the snow that surrounded that lovely body of water. let's just say that once i got under water and started to swim to shore- i didn't almost drown because i cannot swim- but because i could not feel anything from the extremely cold temperatures of the water. dan jumped in a bit a after me and when he came out he exclaimed "i feel so alive! well... that was either death or alive- i am not sure which!" and right he was. it was refreshing, but frigid.

we hiked around the lake a bit and i cannot wait to get the pictures that he took with his super cool camera. it was breathtaking being up there. i could see for miles and it was all landscape brushed by the hands of god and untouched by "human intrusion" (para daniel).

how does beckie survive a hike? nothing like sweedish fish to get those glucose levels up. we pretty much ran down the rest of the way and it felt great (my knees have only been throbbing the last 4 hours, nbd).

pictures just do not serve the view justice. we found a pretty cool rock ledge to climb out onto (only slightly, totally stupid and scary since our legs were jell-o) and just sat out there in our soaking wetness and overlooked all of this. it is moments like these that i just cannot understand how people don't believe in a god. our bodies were capable of getting there and to see that view: simply stunning.

we got home around 7 pm and as we were grabbing things out of the jeep some girls were also just getting home and so we chatted for a moment. i looked at them- in their adorable little dresses, hats and shoes and they told me that they had just returned home from a tea party. there was a stark contrast between their ladylike attire and my own...i looked down at my tie-dyed t-shirt, muddy legs, and shoes (not to mention the hair, no make up, need i really go on??) and just sort of laughed to myself. what is worse is that only a part of me was horribly embarrassed for my messy, boyish, disheveled look- but the larger part of me didn't care at all. i was explaining this to my friend's husband tonight and just laughing about it and said,

"and that is why those girls will get married someday, unlike myself."

and his perfect reply,

"no. that just means that you and your husband will be kick ass together!"

so my resolution to become more feminine--> short lived. i may love cute clothes, but muddy hikes and lakes will always win out in my book.

team edward.

2011-07-29T16:00:00.001-06:00

gotchya. because i am, of course, referring to edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros.

every summer, SLC hosts this amazing free night out- the twilight concert series. they bring in some pretty spectacular talent for your viewing and listening pleasure (not to mention the masses of oddities in the crowd to look at). i pretty much cried when i realized that i would be out of town for explosions in the sky, but last night made up for it.

i am always hesitant to eagerly claim my fanhood of bands/singers like edward sharpe, fleet foxes, ben kweller, mason jennings (oh and i love him), etc. because by fan, i simply mean that i own and love their music. but it does not mean that i am some vintage hipster- which tends to be the surrounding stereotype assosicated with said performers. not there is anything wrong with those people, met plenty of them last night and they were a blast to dance and sing with. but it just isn't me. there is quite a difference between hipster and hippie. and i tend to veer much more towards the latter.

i ran into so many people that i had not seen in years and being there made me all the more excited for moving out of the valley.

the performance was absolutely smashing. they have such an entertaining presence and really put on a fantastic show. and there is a trumpet player...so obviously i love them.

it is recommended to arrive early for good seats. gary and i take that pretty seriously. i thought that i would get some reading done, but found far too many distractions. we walked around the farmers market first where i ate my first and my last vegetarian hot dog, found some insanely cool journals made of recycled books, and many other treasures. second only to the music, were the people there. sure it was nice to be surrounded by people that also love chacos and birkenstocks (gary was still embarrassed by me), but there were some straight up freaks. oh, how i love to people watch.

this old man was a real trooper. but i can only imagine that a watching a concert with pain killers flowing your body would be all the more enjoyable. pretty sure that there were plenty of people doing just that (no worries, he is still in recovery. his narcotics were legit.).

how cute are these two. too bad miss on the left is going on a mission. well not too bad, she is going to rock those argentines. of course, once the opening band (woof) was finished, we couldn't stay sitting for long.

alexander ebert may very well be certifiably insane, but the man and his buddies can jam.

seeing as how i am child size, it was rather difficult to get all the way to front, let alone to get any good pictures. luckily i met some men that were vertically blessed and without hesitation, they offered to throw me up on their shoulders. it was like safe crowd surfing. dancing on some strangers shoulders and getting mediocre pictures? great experience. but just when i thought that i had a good thing going, these monkeys showed up

use what ya got. those two were instantly famous. they received a band shout out, cheers and flashing cameras from a few hundred of their closest new friends.

poor gary literally got kicked by a midget (i am pretty sure if he wasn't broken right now, he would have kicked him back), i stepped on his newly sutured toes, and we stayed at the pie until after midnight. one sketchy gas station, a long chat on the ride home, sleeping in til 10, awful waffle stop and a blog post later- here we are.

i cannot wait to go to bright eyes next week. going with a great group of friends and it's free again. cannot beat that. of course, today i do look and feel a bit like i was hit by a train, but nothing a good run, a nap and some snuggle time can't fix. school starts in exactly one month. i have to get all this out of my system while i actually have the time (ah but we all know that i have peter pan syndrome so my need for fun will never die...).

ps: yoga in the park is tomorrow at 10 AM. be there...

and here is a little mason for ya.

busy bee.

2011-07-26T01:30:00.006-06:00

this post should pretty well answer the text messages, phone calls, emails, fbook messages and nice notes that i have not really responded to regarding my recent whereabouts (i am really bad at that sometimes...). i will admit, that i have been a bit mia from the group that i normally spend time with (ok and by that i mean apt 205 and a few others) but for good reasons. gary is still in town for his surgery and recovery, the marrieds wanted to hang out, it is a holiday, the weather has been great for running, and i just needed some adventures.
* went to wy to get fireworks. this is what half of $1,500 worth of big boy sparklers looks like.

it was a little out of control. but you tell gary, a pyromaniac (who is hopped up on major narcotic pain killers) that it is "buy one get one free"- it is a little difficult to have a rational shopping trip. but we were already all the way there... why not.

i found 36 inch sparklers. fantastic. these little kiddos had a blast. they were so cute. and there was no mass destruction of property or people. it was a successful evening.

* spent 6 hours in a river fly fishing with my own brad pitt. it was so much fun. but the aftermath? not so much.

i got my first real real sunburn and i pretty much hate life (we used SPF 85. trust me, he may have a body builder physique, but you do NOT want to see the havoc that the sun had on z's back. stupid sunscreen.) and i couldn't find my camera, so i was not able to get any real pictures of the trip. but z and i had a grand ol time. he is pro (for real. his fanny pack is legit.) and his patience and skills wore off on me. i am excited to go again on our trip in the fall...it will be better without all the bugs. camping, flannel, wellies, fly fishing, fairview, and friends? it will be heavenly.

oh and we got these super hip mosquito repellent bracelets. which is marketing code for plastic thingy doused in citronella. we almost passed out on the ride down from the overwhelming smell. but they did their job as far as the squitos go.

* went to the drive in movie. captain america was fun and transformers was a great nap (don't worry..i had already seen it at the midnight premiere). double features are a little difficult for me. i get antsy or tired. so sleepy sleep snuggly buggly time it was.

we loaded up b's truck with air mattresses, treats, blankets and pillows (can you tell that he was really excited for the cuddling that would ensue? either that or captain america.). you would not believe the bed that spud made for us. he has this down to a science. spud and katie are die hard drive in movie people. i was blown away by their preparation and knowledge of how to create the perfect movie night.

they really are pretty adorable. it was more like katie and i were on a date just watching those two.

told ya.

homosexuals? nope. just best friends and sweet men.

we had 2 slumber parties in 1 weekend. it was like living together all over again. perfect.

the week has begun, everything on my body is burning and itching, i have a ton of books to read, and more fun plans. and while conditions are not exactly ideal, it is really nice having my parents back in the states. i was able to have a long chat with my dad last night and it made me so happy.

i love summer.

the one thing i do right.

2011-07-21T22:56:00.003-06:00

if there is one commandment that i can say, with confidence, i follow pretty perfectly, it would be journal writing. it is something that i have been known for my whole life. every gift giving occasion i know that a friend or family member will present a new journal to me. and i go through them quickly- so it has always been appreciated. in my purse alone, i always have 3 moleskines. my daily planner, one full of lists and the last is full of words that i like. nerdy? totally. but if i feel the need to just carry those around with me at all times, imagine how much i have to write at the end of every day in a personal journal.

this brings me to telling one of the most tragic material losses of my life. perhaps because it was much more than just a bunch of leather notebooks.

last summer i moved from the apartment upstairs to the one that i am in now. instead of packing, i just made a million trips back and forth with things until i was finished. before i officially moved out, i left 3 boxes and my favorite vera bradley duffle bag upstairs. when i went back the next day to gather those things, i was informed that they had been taken by the cleaning service to be thrown out. i frantically called everyone i could but to no avail. i was unable to retrieve my belongings. the three boxes had winter clothes and shoes in them...i was a bit broken over losing my hunter wellies, my anthro mary janes and some of my favorite jeans and sweaters...but worse: in the vera bradley were about 13 journals. all of the journals that i had kept since i had left home, 5 years ago. just thinking about that makes me ill. generally i do not treat my journals as scrapbooks- full of pictures or memoirs, but if there are a few very special things, i will tuck them in there. so... i lost a lot of those few very special things. along with my oeuvre of journal entries about the most formative years of my life. during those years i went through the darkest tragedies i couldn't have even imagined, but i also learned and grew from them. i learned so much and that was my place to record all of those experiences, both for myself and for my posterity (well... i am sure my posterity has benefited from this loss...they don't need to know everything...).

since then, i have of course continued my journal writing (and reconsidered how much i really need to spend on shoes and jeans...). but i have also since gotten a different, more time consuming job, become more serious about certain hobbies and returned to school. thus time is more limited. so i have recently begun keeping my journal on my computer (backed up a bagillion times and printed out at the end of every week) so that i could be a bit more efficient. i never liked typing my entries because i felt that something very personal was lost. the perfect punctuation, grammar and spelling aren't exactly realistic of me either. but it has allowed me to write epic entries in a much more timely fashion and i suppose it does still have the same effect.

president kimball (of course i reference him again) was renowned for his passion for personal journal keeping. these are some quotes from him on the subject:

"your story should be written while it is fresh and while the true details are available. do not suppose life changes so much that your experiences will not be interesting to your posterity. experiences of work, relations with people and an awareness of the rightness and wrongness of actions will always be relevant. your journal, like most others, will speak of problems old as the world and how you dealt with them."
"begin today! and write your goings and your comings, your deeper thoughts, your achievement, and your failures, your associations and your triumphs, your impressions and your testimonies. we hope you will do this, for this is what the lord has commanded, and those who keep a personal journal are more likely to keep the lord in remembrance in their daily lives"

some of the most sacred moments that i have experienced have been when prayerfully writing in my journal. i have had some of the greatest realizations come to me through pen and paper. whether it be direction as to what i should do, remembering all the amazing gifts the Lord has given me, or feeling His comfort as write about the more painful parts of my life. i am always reminded of His love for me as i evaluate and write about my daily life. and like president kimball said, write about everything. some of my entries are absolutely nonsensical. sometimes they are downright angry. some are purely absurd about love and marriage and kissing and stuff. others are just an update on what i have been up to and the random thoughts that came to my head throughout the day (like i said...long entries). but it is way for me to remember to take a moment to look at things a little more objectively and to be a little more grateful for what i do have.
if you don't keep a personal journal now, start. even if it is just a notepad of lists or thoughts. or letters to yourself. or whatever. just start and don't ever stop.

some of my things.

2011-07-20T23:51:00.000-06:00

i have a list (surprise) of all of my "best feelings in life".

lately, i have had the opportunity to experience a lot of them and it has just been splendid.

1. walking through thrift stores and finding just what you never knew you needed. and since my sister and most of my friends are young married couples- the victory of a good deal is something to worth sharing.

$.75 for an old school San Diego Chargers beer stein mug for josh.

and three books that i cannot wait to relish in.

yes, i went in for mason jars and left without them. but $5 at the DI will still get you pretty far.

2. being there for a friend. i feel blessed that i have so many great friends in my life- particularly friends that trust me enough to tell me things, ask my advice, have me watch their dogs, their children, their houses, their plants (that's probably the most risky one) and whatever else. but the last night was a little different. gary had to have surgery again and has become a temporary invalid. well, knowing him- he will get bored and guyish and try to walk around and do things. so i loaded up with snacks, movies, stories and smiles and we just laid around and talked and watched movies ALL night long and it was great. it was nice to be able to keep gary company, help him out and to just be still and lazy with my friend.

3. to make up for some of that laziness... today madison and i met up for some rock climbing (she left her husband behind, so it was just us-- this is a big deal). i am amazed that i can even type right now because my hands are raw and my muscles are dead. but it was great. that is another great feeling- rock climbing. getting to the top, finding those grips, using all the muscles in your body to keep from dropping, the mental and physical challenge of rock climbing are definitely on my good feelings list (and the really good looking and extremely talented guys that approached us and asked if we wanted to join them for a climb and then dinner later- not too bad either... just sayin').

4. NPR has broadcasted 3 different times about running in the last week. they featured christopher mcdougall- the author of that book, born to run, that i mentioned before, along with several other experts and it is just fascinating. plus, i have met someone that loves npr as much as i do and it is a regular conversation topic for us. dad is proud.

5. though i have stacks of books that i want to read, i have been trying really hard to dedicate more time to my scripture study. i have some really good examples in my life of people that are so good at this and i see how it blesses them. i try to be consistent but there are times that are much better/worse than others. especially in this phase of life with school, work, friends, dating, working out, playing- it is so easy to get home late and just want to go to bed. but recognizing this has allowed me to prioritize a little bit better so that i am getting to bed at a decent hour with some time to spend with the scriptures before shutting off the light. it requires small sacrifices here and there, but just in the past two weeks, i have already seen a strength come from my efforts and i know that the Lord recognizes my desire and blesses my life and my study everyday.

i saw a quote the other day that said "a bible that's falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn't...".

we are more than halfway through the week. b and i are going to the drive in movie with the marrieds on friday, yoga on saturday, meeting up with some more married people for lunch, 10 mile run, friend visiting for the weekend (the 24th is a big deal here) church, skypey time, and my laundry is already finished. things are lookin' good.

"it's the bulls and blood. it's dust and mud.

2011-07-17T16:50:00.000-06:00

it's the white in the knuckles, the gold in the buckle...it's the boots and chaps, it's cowboy hats. it's spurs and latigo. it's ropes and the reigns. and the joy and the pain. and they call the thing rodeo. "

last night i doubled with some friends to the ute stampede. it was so fun to be back there. it had been about 3 years since i had been down to the stampede and it was just like i remembered- just no rodeo burger this year. some fun things:

1. the town of nephi has the funniest lounge/bar this side of the mississsppi. not that i have been to many, but wow...when you don't drink- you chat and watch. oh the things i saw especially with that post rodeo crowd..

2. small town utah girls have the biggest hair and most intense makeup that i have ever seen.

3. there were so many cute little kids there. i saw a baby in chaps and spurs and i wanted to take her.

4. the carnival games and rides never change.

and men will never stop needing to prove themselves to other men.

and while some men had to win prizes for their dates, i would just like to announce that not only did i win my own prize- i beat EVERYONE.

but i will admit, i have always been a sucker for a country boy.

harry pothead.

2011-07-14T18:01:00.000-06:00

this harry potter glossary will be the death of me.

this was my fixed facial expression (apparently iphone cameras are actually pretty decent) for 2 hours of agonizing harry potter synopses from my friend sammy sam today. bless his heart, i think that he was just dropping by to say hello and return my book but i figured while he was already here and such a fan, he might as well help a girl out.

i am still completely sleep deprived from last week and have wisely decided to attend the david gray concert and then go straight to the midnight showing of harry potter. yep. the 3 hour film finale of the legendary series that i know nothing about. what can i say, i strive to be cultured.

ps last night was spud's bday. we went to dinner at chili's (where else would the group go now that tgifriday's is gone) and what do you know- for some reason the waiter gave my meal to me for free. how nice.

how do i know this man??

because i know and love this lady with all of my heart.

our times with these boys go so far back. it was great to spend time with them again and celebrate the day of spud's birth. he is a triathloning, disney watching, katie loving guy and i am so glad that we are friends. thank you for being such an amazing husband to my best friend. love you both.

i am a horrible tourist.

2011-07-13T01:04:00.000-06:00

i really did not take very many pictures...at all. perhaps 10 in total.

B and A driving in rita to the airport. funniest moment about this picture: as soon as we took it we both looked at each other and said, "nancy cannot ever see this picture". well too late. mama, i promise, A is a fine driver.

i had to fight back the tears of joy (or maybe my eyeballs were sweating from the extreme humidity) upon exiting the airport in washington dc. everything there is green and beautiful. i was in heaven and felt a pang of home sickness. it was wonderful to see jacob and to spend a little time with him before he jettsetted off to thailand. he braved the dc rush hour (such a sweedish champ) to fetch me from the airport and then we just relaxed a bit.

perk of being in dc: there are so many vegetarian restaurants. it was extraordinary to have options available to me. i heartily partook right away.

i had the opportunity to ride up to the top of the washington monument. very cool. so much history there and amazing views.

please feel free to pretend that the reflection pool was not under construction.

it is easy to get a great landscape shot when you are 555 feet high.

and that is what happens when a 14 year old boy takes your picture. but i should be grateful that it cut off half of my perma shine face that i was sporting the entire trip. adam looks great. but he's adam, he always looks great. and what a savvy tour guide. the man knows everything about everything. i didn't realize that it was such a big deal, but apparently, georgetown cupcakes are all the rage...kk- you would have died. not just from the near diabetic coma, but from the sheer site of all of the adorable cuppycakes.

i also had the opportunity to attend the washington dc temple. this did require a rather interesting metro trip during rush hour (guess who fits right under everyone's armpits in standing room only metros...), but i made some friends, had a missionary opportunity and made it there in one piece. the drive to the temple is absolutely breathtaking. i wanted time to stand still so i could just soak in all of the foliage and beauty of god's earth. but a car ride with one of my best friends, listening to npr, on my way to the temple- that works too.

this temple is so special to me.

my family is where it is today because of the courage and faith of my parents making covenants there 30 years ago. we are so blessed and it was truly emotional to be able to participate in the ordinances in such a beautiful and sacred building. there was a nice nature path that surrounds the temple grounds that andrew and i walked around afterwards. i was just so happy to be there.

as a matter of fact, i was just happy to be out east in general. it was refreshing to not feel smothered by the pressures of provo, it was nostalgic to chase lightening bugs, and comforting to be with old friends. and as it is sea level there- the running is fantastic! i flew through all my troubles and i could not stop smiling. it is a good thing that i was running so much because the next morning i wolfed down a decent portion of:

mmmm eastern market's famous buckberry pancakes. so yum. carb heaven.

and then it was onto book heaven. why are there not more of these around? being in that store was bittersweet- i was so overjoyed to be surrounded by stacks of thousands of books but knew that i would require days to fulfill my curiosity. but andrew did walk out with two of my very favorites books and so that was satisfaction in itself.

we walked around the flea market but it was just so gosh darn hot. so what is the best way to cool off? just the way i was raised- jump in a river.

we headed to the potomac river where they had kayaks for rent. i was so happy. first of all i love being in the river- i know it sounds filthy but it just makes me so happy to be there. it was a beautiful day, we were right in georgetown where the water was warm and wonderful. andrew was right when he said that the only thing that would have made it better would be if we had brought our books.

georgetown is completely adorable. sure it has cupcakes, but it is such a charming little town. everything has so much character and class and i loved it. the shopping wasn't bad either. i love east coast style. so classic, nautical and preppy (my visit has officially solidified by decision to purchase a longchamp tote-i realize that it would be so trendy, but they are practical in every way.). i would just love to live there.

later that night we went for a bike ride from arlington to the district. it was one of the most enjoyable bike rides that i have had in a while. granted, i was not racing for anything, but just soaking in the eastern evening air and enjoying my surroundings (it should be noted- i do not recommend using a cheap cruiser to bike the 15 miles...though it can be done.)

our first stop was the WWII memorial (the rest of these pictures were taken by andrew- not bad for a phone, again horrible tourist, i know). the monuments are striking in the nighttime. they are so grandiose and have an alluring reverence.

it was so fun to ride around to the different spots and see everything, not to mention a little break from the the extreme heat that i was not accustomed to. and luckily for me, andrew is very knowledgeable on many subjects and learning from him made it all the more of an engrossing experience.

i love america. being exposed to so much of our nation's history, even just for a short time, was such a blessing. everything worked out just fine with flights, accommodations, transportation, meeting up with friends, seeing things that i wanted to, and taking a little break from everyday life. i was able to make some new friends, read my book, watch movies, go for walks, eat yummy food, and spend time with people that mean a lot to me. thank you, mama for fixing my flights, jacob and jaren for your house, adam for sightseeing, conversation, love and taking me to the airport, andrew for...well pretty much the rest of it.

whoops.

2011-06-30T00:45:00.001-06:00

i am really good at distracting myself.

best day everrr!

2011-06-26T17:58:00.000-06:00

this saturday had a perfect combination of splendid activities. the whole weekend has been pretty fab, really. i shared friday evening with the boys. having several smashing rounds of tennis and the best shaved ice in provo. saturday morning i arose early for a morning workout and then met friends in the park to teach an outdoor yoga class. quite honestly, no one could show up and i would probably still practice. there is something so energizing about performing a sun salutation while actually basking in the warmth of the morning sunlight.

earlier in the week kyle had presented an idea to me: the zoo. um yes, please. outdoors, cute animals (i just don't think about the whole stuck in cages away from their natural habitat thing too long...) and the day with some of my favorite people? what is not to be excited about. i have decided the best way to get older is to act younger. i think that i have it mastered (but i did refrain from asking for a balloon...can't say the same for the ice cream cone).

i had not heard the best reviews of the UT zoo, but it was a zoo nonetheless and so i had been excited all week. it was a perfect day for the outing. we were armed with spf, sunglasses, snacks and smiles. we saw everything from rats to monkeys, giraffes to goats, elephants to trout...it was quite the random mix (but what zoo doesn't have lions!?) there was not a penguin exhibit but i made do.

i was in the best of company and could not have asked for a better time.

something about exercising all morning and walking around in the hot sun for 4 hours really does a girl in. slept the whole way home and just in time to get back for a ward bonfire. even though we were exhausted and barely stayed awake on the drive up the canyon, there was still football, soccer, and s'mores to partake in.

the past couple weeks have consisted of tennis, football, running, and yoga everyday. so the 3 hour sunday coma that i just took felt fantastic. church was wonderful, skype was cute, whitney is off to chile (her farewell was today), dinner is cooking, and my book is calling my name. oh and new york/dc is in 9 days. nbd.

a'dios.

dennis.

2011-06-19T23:58:00.000-06:00

today is father's day. and i love my father. naturally i started to write this post with an extensive list exploding with reasons that my daddy is the best. but as i was reading over it, as much as each point was true, it just seemed a little silly (not that my lists would ever be just silly...). but i owe so much to him and i cannot just list off the reasons.

i am a "daddy's girl" in a different kind of way. he loves me more than any man in this world ever has or probably ever will. i require space. i get claustrophobic very easily in relationships of any type. he has always give me my space and allowed me to be myself. but all the while, i have always known that i could go to him for anything. and if the conditions necessitated a father's blessing- i have always known that he would be willing and worthy to perform such a service.

when i first came to college and was feeling lonely, sad or scared, he would talk to me, even if it was just for a few minutes. and i can think of a couple late nights when i called in tears and he said a prayers with me. he has loved me through all of my stupid, selfish mistakes.

there is just so much that i have to say...but i think that i will just conclude with telling my daddy thank you. thank you for showing me the kind of man that i want to marry and have a family with one day. thank you for teaching me to be a woman worthy of such and for believing that it could happen someday.

thank you for always taking care of our family, making me laugh, loving me, being the best dad in the world.

next on the docket.

2011-06-17T23:11:00.000-06:00

i love old mason jars. they hold a lot of memories from my childhood. every summer we canned a bagillion fruits and vegetables. this meant waking up far too early, dad going to the produce stand guy and buying bushels of stuff, mama filling up every sink in the house to soak and wash the produce in, and then everyone washing, chopping, peeling and sealing until midnight. but there were some fun times (the one time we burned the hell out of our eyes from cutting peppers for salsa...) and lots of healthy, yummy food storage as a result.

mason jars also held coins, lightening bugs, caterpillars,and our halloween candy when we played "candy store". so because of this affinity that i have for these babies, this is my next crafty:

it is easy to find the standard ball jars, but i really would like the vintagy green ones with the silver tops. where might one procure such beauties?? as for th rest of it, home depot here i come.

it is for real.

2011-06-16T01:56:00.001-06:00

i am beginning to feel like summer is actually here. it is about time.

validating reasons for this onset of acknowledgement of the summer solstice are:

1. running. it has been fantastic to walk outside at 9 PM, dusk is barely setting in and the temperature is perfect. no more frozen lungs and burning throats. and it is a lot easier for me to convince myself to get off my butt and grab the miles. in fact-- it is one of the best parts of my day.

2. work is hard. the summer sales season is going full throttle and it is embarrassing how well i know the security industry. but i am grateful for my job, that it does come fairly easy to me, and that i am given responsibilities that keep me busy and challenged everyday.

3. there is just so much to do when it is beautiful outside! hiking, running, picnic'ing, reading, bike rides, swimming, tennis, fishing, bonfires, gardening, and our flag football team starts next week. gary was back for part of the week and we made the most of the visit. check out the giant snow cave we hiked down into!

there was a giant glacier of snow that had not melted yet, at the foot of the falls. it was at least 20 ft. deep. the falls created a giant tunnel that ran all the way down the side of the mountain. it was quite the adventure and really one of the coolest places that i have gone exploring.

4. books. with no school right now, i have plenty of time to read just what i want to read and i have been plowing through them. i did finish the count of monte cristo and i loved it. it is definitely on my top 15 now. summertime or not, there is just never enough time to read all the literary wonders of the world. but i do my best.

5. baseball. basketball is over. and i am always sad about that. especially this year, because i had such a heart wrenching season with jazz. but this does mean that baseball is in full swing and lovely as ever. win or lose, i will be faithful to the cardinals. and wimbledon starts on monday AND i have a new tennis buddy, yesss.

6. tan lines. i am really good at slathering on my spf, but the lines still happen.

it was so great to have him back even for just a few days.

the other night we also went and saw

this movie has received shockingly high ratings and it was very well done. it was the story of the martin willie handcart company. there were definitely some emotional parts. when we were walking out of the film, andrew just said "well...that was not funny at all. but it sure does make a man think". his statement made me laugh, but it was true. i dedicate so much of my spiritual study to deeper doctrine and biblical topics and sometimes i forget how many wonderful lessons there are to be learned from the generations just before my own.

7. city days. this week is strawberry days! next week is the manti temple pageant, then i will be in nyc/dc and then back in time for the david gray concert, pioneer day, another half marathon, and a bagillion other fun, local activities.

ah summer, i welcome you with bronzed, open arms!

read it.

2011-06-12T16:56:00.000-06:00

when is the last time that you read this?

i was only 9 years old when president hinkley presented this divine manifesto to the world.

16 years later it is still true and the counsel more urgently applicable to life than ever.

this is what we discussed in church today. it was one of the best meetings that i have attended in quite some time. i left feeling a hope and a love for my future family and an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the eternal family that i have been blessed with today.

anna left after church, joely is on a plane back to oregon, and i have 54 more pages left with edmund dantes.

it has been a lovely sabbath day.

ouchy.

2011-06-11T11:29:00.001-06:00

this is the most that i have ever run in my life. i find myself addicted to this kind of pain. whoopsies.

luckily sunday is a day of rest.

i cannot seem to descend a flight of stairs without awkward limping and painful moans, but i am sure happy.

and joely is here. i thought that this whole "just showing up at my door and surprising me" thing would get old.

false. it doesn't. i even managed a gleeful jump upon his arrival. considering my current physical state, that says a lot. mama- joely says hi. he loves nancy.

i owe him.

2011-06-09T01:24:00.004-06:00

for reasons unnecessary for sharing, i owe arthur a personal blog post. or 5. and i am not allowed to delete it.

ladies and gentlemen, you all know him, sir arthur. he is my original literary buddy. the first night that we actually had together, i believe we stayed up until about 3 AM just talking about books. i was so captivated by our conversation, that i hardly noticed blake's thunderous snoring in the background. i was smitten. he has since become my book, foodie, yogi, climbing, cycling, movie, pool and whatever buddy. his best friend once told me, and i quote,

"beckie, you will never regret marrying arthur. he will be rich, we will own a private jet which you would have full access to and the man can wear the hell out of a suit."

never mess with a man and his iphone.

the other day we had a lovely afternoon discussing the ongoings of life and books. of course- books. i force fed him a copy of born to run and insisted that he would love it and must read it. this is one man that takes my book recommendations seriously.

the next afternoon, message 1: "i just read the first 2 chapters. i am really tempted to cancel my date tonight."

few hours later, message 2: "only made it 100 pages, i'm tempted to not shower before so i can just read more."

one day later, message 3 "the book was sooooooo good"

me "you already finished?!??!!!?!!"

arthur " i would have finished it last might if it had not been for the date...i had to take a break yesterday to go on a 6 mile run followed by a half mile in my barefoot ted shoes."

i think that it was about this point when i threw my hands in the air and said "fine, i will stop fighting you. i will marry you...damn it."

what can i say, the poor guy needs a green card. i have since revoked my acceptance of marriage, but i will keep him for all other purposes. and ladies, he is still single if you are interested...
this is my favorite picture of us.

sometimes he makes me really mad. and he makes way too much eye contact for my comfort. and he can outclimb me and and kick my butt in scrabble. and he can knows how to win in our battles because he is so fully aware of my flakiness, my commitment issues, my pride, my stubbornness, my feminist attitude and my inability to sit still. i am definitely the underdog in this friendship.

but he has great political views (ok ok just the same as me), chris carrabba hair, the cutest nieces and nephews, a stellar mother, a questionable best friend, flawless style, an organic garden, cool friends, an addiction to chocolate, 2 bikes, a temple recommend, several aprons, bagillions of books, the sympathy of nancy (aka my mama who also is aware of aforementioned flaws that destroy men) an eco friendly car, a brain that just blows my mind, and he thinks that i am cool.

beckie "you got a new car? so green of you"

arthur "yep. i love it. i think that i will name her rita"

beckie "ah perfect. like lovely rita?"

arthur "i didn't even have to explain :)"

so there ya go, my little brazilian bff. i hereby promise to not delete this post.

revelation.

2011-06-06T14:15:00.002-06:00

i am reading a book right now entitled, hearing the voice of the lord, authored by elder gerarld n. lund. i love reading books of a spiritual nature and expanding my knowledge and testimony of gospel principles. i generally only read books written by prophets. like i told my mama the other day, i have come to learn that "just because it is in deseret book, does not make it doctrine." she wholeheartedly agreed.

this book could not have been given to me at a more appropriate time in my life. it starts out with a quote from president kimball that says,

" the Almighty is with this people. we shall have all the revelation that we shall need if we will do our duty and keep the commandments of God...remember: if there be eyes to see, there will be visions to inspire. if there be ears to hear, there will be revelations to experience. if there be hearts which can understand, know this: that the exalting truths of Christ's gospel will no longer be hidden and mysterious and all earnest seekers may know God and his program."

president kimball's emphatic manner of delivering advice and counsel is unsurpassed to me. i love reading all of his talks and books. and i just love that quote. this book by elder lund is rather simplistic, but it is backed by biblical references and quotes from prophets of old and today. it is a beautiful outline of how we can have the hearts to understand and the ears to hear the revelations that the Lord has in store for each one of us.

there have been some things weighing heavily on my mind and heart for so long now. my amazing parents are well aware of this and they are always so careful in their addressing of these subjects with me. but luckily for me, they know how to listen to the Lord. and though we only briefly discussed the issue the other day, it was followed by a long heartfelt email full of love and wisdom to help me in my struggles and time of decision making. i am so grateful to them and know that they are qualified to receive revelation on my behalf and that they are caring enough to tell me, no matter how sensitive the subject.

later, i was able to go to the temple and spend some time there to more deeply ponder their advice and what the Lord would want me to do. sometimes it is just exhausting not knowing where to go in life. while in the temple i reflected on a lot of the counsel in this book, my patriarchal blessing and upon what my parents had shared with me. even though i have not sung the song "a child's prayer" in years, the lyrics came to me so clearly in their entirety and i was washed over with a comfort and love that only my Heavenly Father could provide.

there are still so many uncertainties in my life and so many decisions that i have yet to make. but i am so happy to know that i am blessed with such loving parents, caring friends, access to temples, and a strong, personal relationship with my Heavenly Father. all is well.
A Child's Prayer

Heavenly Father, are you really there?
and do you hear and answer every child's prayer.
Some say that Heaven is far away,
but i feel it close around me as i pray.

Heavenly Father, i remember now,
something that Jesus told Disciples long ago.
Suffer the children to come to me,
Father in prayer i'm coming now to thee.

Pray, He is there.
Speak, He is listening.
You are his child,
his love now surrounds you.

He hears your prayer,
He loves the children,
of such is the Kingdom,
the Kingdom of Heav'n.

girly schmirly.

2011-06-03T00:24:00.001-06:00

"you may not be her first, her last or her only. she loved before, she may love again. but if she loves you now, what else matters? she's not perfect- you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. she may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break- her heart. so don't hurt her. don't change her. don't analyze her and expect more than she can give. smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there."

- bob marley.

it would behoove men to listen to bob. you cannot not love him.

i thought of this quote because the other night i partook in an interesting cinematic experience... supposedly nicholas sparks' novel based movie, "the notebook", is the ultimate chick flick, drama, romance, whatever. i had never seen this. but if you just mention it, girls all around the room just ooh and ahh over ryan gosling and how wonderful and lovely the movie is (while all the men groan and gag). well i watched it. and i can see the appeal. there wasn't any deep sighing, tears or longing for love but overall it was good. ok, i liked it.

what can i say? i love

* notebooks and journals. especially my moleskines.

*wooden rowboats.

*ryan gosling. (lars and the real girl..love)

*old couples. touching.

*when vulnerability pays off.

*that he was handy and built her dream house.

*that they called each other out on crap.

* the south.

*the 40's.

*her dresses.

*that they wrote letters.

*that she was a horrible driver.

*ferris wheels. so pretty.

*that her name was allie.

i will probably never watch it again. but it was a good excuse to share some marley love.

my hyper hippocampus.

2011-06-02T00:54:00.006-06:00

i have a lot going on inside my head. my poor brain can hardly handle it and some of it is just ridiculous. tonight when darin and i were at the store, we saw two cars parked and their front ends were touching/kissing. i spent at least 5 minutes going over all the possible names of their car baby (saturn+pontiac, endless possibilities...ended with "santiac" as my favorite). i wish that i could make those silly thoughts stop because i think that my hippocampus is running out of space. and this shortage of data storage is adding to my everyday blunders. i just forget things. a lot of things. a lot of really, normal, not to be forgotten things...such as:

how to spell. a lot of stuff- very frustrating when you love words as much as i do.
to say "thank you"- mama would be so embarrassed...
to shut off my straightener- thank you valentina for saving our apt.
to put gas in sally or change her oil...
my grocery list- but i always remember once i get there.
to wear makeup- fresh til' death, right?
to take my vitamins.
that i am not white- gimme a break.
to reply to texts- they get lost in the pool of messages from time to time.
that i don't need any more shoes- even if they are on sale and just my size.
that not everyone cares what i think- do i forget this or just not care? i don't know either.
to stop eating.
what day it is- this has happened to everyone, i am sure.
where states are located.
that "damn" is a naughty word- and a few others that i tend to overuse.
how to cry- takes me a while to get into the groove.
to turn on the water before running the disposal.
that nobody's perfect.
my coupons.
that tanning will give me cancer.
which aisle the olives are on.
that friendly is often mistaken for flirty- yikes...
if i like shrimp or not- it always looks so good. but every time i try it, i spit it out.
that i might have kids one day- but first things first.
that emily is a mom, not just my sister and friend.
to wear a bra.
my pin #.
to close the blinds- really awkward...esp on those "forgot the bra" days.
preheat the oven.
make my bed.
my phone number- i don't call myself that often.
my plans...that i just made- literally. i can make a plan with someone for 3 hours out and totally forget it.
to dust the shelves that i cannot reach/see.
to separate my wants from the lord's- why can't everything i want be a righteous desire?
what i wore yesterday...or what i am wearing right now...
to go pee.
which one is tommy lee or tommy lee jones.
that i don't really need naps. but then again since i forget to sleep at night, i kinda do.
to stop being prideful. or refuse to stop...still figuring that one out too.
that i don't like cotton candy- but it just so fluffy and cute.
to return redbox movies- i am that sucker.
to not say "yeah"- so unbecoming.
that we are still in a war- and i have friends there. shame on me.
to just sit still- i am so fidgety and am always doing something.
that gym clothes are not always appropriate everywhere i go...well at least not to other people.
organic does not mean low fat or low calorie- common misconception.
check my pockets before doing laundry- have lost many a burts bees to the perm press cycle.
to keep my mouth shut.
check the mail.
that narnia is not real.
to ask for help. or how to. it is just uncomfortable either way.
what pork is. pigs? chickens? cows? foul? i dunno. i will just stick with vegetarianism.
history stuff- i love learning it. but it gets so jumbled!

that is just a small portion of things that i forget (how i remembered all of them in the first place? it bothers me so much that i forget them that i have an ongoing list i add to as i remember that i forgot. i really need a hobby...). constantly. but let's not even begin to compare it to the absurd things that i do manage to remember. my grey matter is a wealth of useless knowledge. it sure keeps me entertained but doesn't really help me remember where i left my keys.

i think that i need some ginkgo.

happy memorial day.

2011-05-30T13:11:00.000-06:00

i love america.

to my boys that are recently returned or currently deployed now and their families, thank you.

i may not understand or agree with everything that is going on, but regardless, i know that there are amazing men and women out there that leave their families for months on end, some never to return, to protect what america stands for. and that is worth recognizing.

this may or may not make me cry...every time.

skypey skype.

2011-05-27T21:13:00.001-06:00

sometimes i video chat. rarely. but when i have the time, really miss the person and my internet decides to be stoic enough for it, i give it a go.

last night my wi-fi decided to cooperate (of course it was when neither of my sisters or parents were available to skype). a and i were cyberly catching up on life. he is a clever one. and as if our little sessions are not entertaining enough, he thought that it would be really funny to be taking random pictures of me while we were chatting (i am a very amateur video chatter...i did not even know that could be done!) they were actually quite funny...

"why hello..." it at all starts out fairly normal....

"yeah honey,...that's a really cool scab...what were you doing in the tree again??"

what do ya know, adam totally farted. my facial expression is a bit exaggerated because those of us that know him, know that this is nothing shocking.

and this is why we are such good friends, for life.

god bless his future wife.

next time i will have to be sure to do the sneak attack on pics of him. cross your fingers that mama and daddy and i will get to have a chatski soon. i miss you guys. a lot.

so thrifty.

2011-05-25T00:02:00.003-06:00

i drink herbal tea like it is going out of style. i have a strong affinity for its taste and health benefits. it tastes good, is fairly inexpensive and practically no sugar. so i don't have to be constantly worried about my teeth rotting or drinking my daily calorie allowance. oh and the brand that i drink... organic, packaging made from recycled paper and wind power. and bonus- the tea bag tags all have a little bit of yogi wellness advice. excellent. i have been hunting for this:

for months. literally months. i wanted a mug, not a travel thermos (i hate stainless steel fingerprints and smudgeies) and one with a lid so that i could keep my tea bag in there (i like to let it seep forever to gain stronger flavor) and so i would not spill because i tend to walk around a lot with my mugs. there is a newer version that i just didn't like as much. but they don't make this mug anymore. i tried amazon, ebay, everything that i could think of. i guess that it is just that great because you cannot find it. JUST last night, literally, i was telling someone how frustrated i was because i just wanted this damn mug and was about to give up and just get the newer model anyway.

well what do you think that beckie found at DI today for $.75. that's right. the exact mug pictured above. i was so excited and hung onto it for dear life will i searched the books. seventy five cents! i could find that in my couch. the church is true. i am pretty sure that my tea tasted even better tonight. or my taste buds were just coated in elation. either way, i was really excited. and i am telling you, this mug is spectacular. perfect, cute, comfy (amazing handle with bumpy finger things) and mess proof. it is going everywhere with me.

oh and i found a ton of books. including one that arthur had just finished reading. i called him while on my book hunt and said,

"i found the curious incident of the dog in the night-time. it is a dollar. should i get it?"

he replied "it is really good, you will love it. buy it. well unless you want to borrow mine...but i know how much you love to own your own books..."

book shopping phone calls are normal for us. we aren't almost lovers for nothing, he knows me so well.

speaking of marriage...

2011-05-23T18:34:00.004-06:00

i know...two posts in one day- annoying. apologies for clogging your reader. but, while i am feeling ridiculous enough to admit that i love looking at wedding blogs, i might as well show you this:

i found my perfect man's closet.

1. so tidy. i bet that he has shirts with french cuffs and wide collars.

2. books. good books. and if he stores them in here, there must be tons more around the house...

3. only one personal picture. probably with his mom.

4. 2 bottles of cologne. no need to overdo it.

5. boat shoes.

6. cool luggage.

7. color and material coordinated. (not that i have ocd and am drawn to it in others)

8. i am guessing that there is a vinyl record player in there somewhere. and a jar with coins.

9. wood hangers. he clearly appreciates quality in the little things.

***and because he is perfect, i am sure that he has another closet where he stores his tennis racquet, golf clubs, yoga mat and running shoes. and maybe some kites. and camping gear. and power tools.

oh and i also found our future son.

this is what wedding blog addiction does. detrimental to my tough exterior. but that kid is so darn cute. just give me and "man with perfect closet" 5-10 years. those coats will be always be cool. and our kid will be quite the chap. trust me.

ps. both photos were borrowed from blakey blake's bloggy. the man has impeccable taste.

a bit out of character.

2011-05-23T17:31:00.000-06:00

i am addicted to something that i have coined clothes porn. as mark twain said, "the finest clothing made is a person's skin, but of course, society requires something more than this". too bad. who doesn't love being nakey?

luckily, i also love clothes. i forget to wear them sometimes (and i am sure that some people are convinced that i only own yoga pants and cardigans) but they can be so pretty. i rarely have the gumption to go with the trendy and my look remains pretty classic. but i do love to look and wish that i was beautiful and brazen enough for the latest styles (think east coast/gossip girl...not sex in the city, high fashion). alas, my personality and wallet do not allow for this to be a reality. though, i am ok with that. practicality is admirable. thank goodness for the internet, because it provides my shopping high but i don't really shop. i cannot actually see and feel the soft sweaters and pretty dresses...so i know that i will not buy them. but i find it quite entertaining. considering the fact that i rarely just sit around and do nothing, let alone that i would spend my time looking at shoes and skirts, is kind of a dirty little secret. but i just love to browse online at all the cute outfits.

and now for the real shocker- my latest clothes porn addiction is not to just clothes...but wedding clothes. i don't know why. but i love looking at the j crew wedding collection (and the men in those suits...not bad either)...and now anthroplogie is coming out with a wedding line too. i don't even care about my own wedding. there are a few staple things that i will matter (the temple, the guy, comfy shoes, the wedding night...), but other than that, i could just sign the paper and be good. i didn't grow up playing barbies or planning dream weddings, but there is something addictingly fun about wedding blogs, magazines and collections.

classy but modern, vintagy but clean. and they even have rehearsal dinner, engagement picture and honeymoon outfit ideas. how lovely. ang claims that once you actually plan a wedding it loses it's appeal...and she is wise and we have a lot in common as far as our inability to think and worry about silly little things like lace and centerpieces, so i will believe her. for now, i will have my fun.

i tend to know what i don't like more than what i do like (always a critic, i know) so i guess that if i ever do get married for real, i will know exactly what i want. think of all the time and headache i will save everyone in my life (not that being a maid of honor or bridesmaid is ever a headache... i love you brides...).

this song always makes me smile.

awesome.

2011-05-20T03:00:00.002-06:00

has your life been blessed by the website, 1000 awesome things yet?

maybe it is because i am obsessed with lists or maybe it is because realizing that i am not the only one that appreciates the absurdingly amazingness of the platypus or seriousness of rock-paper-scissors blows my mind- either way- it is just that. friggin' awesome. i scroll through a couple on my google reader every day and it is the cause of many bursts of laughter. today's made me laugh because it was #240: being single (welcome to the comedy which is my life). the point that made me laugh in particular:

"9. Own your bed, own your life. When you’re single the entire bed is yours and you can test a variety of Starfish poses, Chun-Li leg kick positions, or even the extremely bold diagonal sleeping. (Rarely done.)"

hillary can attest to what it is like to share a bed with me at night. let's just say that you never know if i will be spooning you or accidentally breaking your face. i am a very active sleeper. so for the time being, i shall embrace having a bed to myself.

this page contains the top "awesome things" and it blows my mind how many are on there that i totally agree with. bottoms up to people that know how to love and celebrate the little things in life that go unnoticed by most .

something else that is awesome? the band explosions in the sky. they are one of those bands that is becoming more and more mainstream which is a little strange to me, but i still love em. this song is part of my nightly routine

boy nights...and beckie.

2011-05-17T01:10:00.004-06:00

this is just one reason why it is more fun for me to play with boys than girls.

last weekend, i accompanied a group of men to the go expo and it was spectacular. nail polish and high heels have their place. but an entire expo center dedicated to local, outdoor activities? yes, please. did you know that if you are surrounded by active people- you are 70% more likely to be active yourself?? true fact. here in provo, you can find people of all ages and sizes out and about any moment of the day. whether they are out running (lot's of running. i chalk it up to all of the sexual suppression..but no std's and strong cardiovascular systems? why not.), cycling, playing, etc. and it is inspiring.

they even let us borrow some shoes and try out bouldering walls. and check out this bad boy:

holy rocks. it is a revolving rock climbing wall with adjustable incline! woah. amazing. i want one. of course, nothing beats the real thing on real rock in the real outdoors...but this sure would be fun to have around. it was fun walking around and trying the different exercise machines, learning about holistic medicines, and almost being talked into buying a surf board (that one was not so local...).

special treat:

curious to know what happens in an apartment full of men late at night?

well it started out with some bieber...and turned to this:

boys will be boys.

his ankles may be smaller than my thumbs, but kenny has surprising strength...

that is beautiful form. look at derek hovering like a little angel.

and there really is nothing out of the ordinary happening here. these sort of moments are a regular occurrence.

however, as the night wears on and judgement becomes a little bit more hazy, the real fun begins.

papa derek wants to give it a go.. with all of us.
little one, kenny, and some beckie thrown on there.

the mount was more difficult than you think.

and crash landings happen. and though you think that you will do better every time because you have figured out the kinks in the system- you are wrong. the crashes tend to get progressively worse. but i still recommend giving it a try.

believe it or not, i did not die. well, almost...of laughter. i feel like i burn more calories, laughing with these guys, than i do in a full workout.

sunday was a lovely day (church starts at 8:30 AM now...we have a lot of day left afterwards) of laying around in the sunshiny park, reading books (born to run was SO good), getting back tickles and enjoying god's beautiful earth. provo summer is just beginning and so far, so good.

joely, please come back.

under her wing.

2011-05-09T16:00:00.004-06:00

i hang out with same 5 boys every single day. it is grand. all of these boys mention their mothers. so much so, that the phrase "under mother's wing" has become as much of a commonality as "i hate the lakers" (and we say that a lot). what can i say, we just love our moms.

did you know that a stay at home mom's tasks have a monetary value of over $140,000.00 A YEAR?!?! she is on call 24/7 for the rest of her family's lives (stops at 18?? please...we are all 25...). the typical mom,

*cooks

*cleans

*detangles hair and getsthe gum out in the earlier years

*chauffeurs (school, seminary, sports, mutual, hangouts, mall trips, rides when you just need to talk)

*reads books after dinner

*budgets

*kills bugs

*disciplines (and manages to withhold from punching her kids when they are driving her crazy)

*loves

*launders (can only imagine the kind of stains a mom sees in her lifetime)

*teaches

*plays santa, easter bunny, st. nick, tooth fairy, leprechaun, cupid, etc

*sings lullaby's

*sews buttons (patches, jeans, dresses, and everything else)

*landscape

*pulls out ticks (ah the lovely tick routine, thank you missouri)

*grocery shops

*protects

*house breaks

*plays

*outfits

and if you are nancy, you do all of this AND manage to:

*have a million church callings at a stake level.

*play sports (real or made up)

*sew dress up clothes

*braid, curl, die, perm (it was the 90's) hair

*teach your daughters to cook

*print off lyrics of songs for your kids so they can sing the titanic song over and over again

*be the "cool mom" at girl's camp

*be a nurse

*record all your kids' favorite tv shows (this was back with the vcr thing...)

*wash your kid's mouth out with soap when you swear

*go on missions

*stay up all night reading legal documents to my dad
*do genealogy

*text "LOL", facebook, skype, gchat, email, and blog

*be the best Nana in the world

*go to the temple

*hike pikes peak

*keep a journal

*teach your kids to love the beatles

*read books
*date your husband

*insist on family dinner every night, no matter work, school, sport or social schedules

*remember everything that each child will and will not eat

*perform countless acts of service for others

*be a personal assistant

*alter your prom dresses to be modest

* admit when she is wrong

and one of the most important characteristics and jobs that my mother has down: she loves her heavenly father and serves Him in everything way. she puts her family first. almost any good choice that i make, i have to credit to my mama. not because she has ever forced me to be a certain way. throughout the years, she has really come to terms that i am a different kind of girl. that i am much more boyish and abrasive than my sisters, that i am much more sensitive on certain subjects than necessary, that i am fickle and sometimes irresponsible. but she has taught me well and loved me the best that she can. her life has shown me the way to true, everlasting joy.

life without school...for now.

2011-05-05T21:18:00.001-06:00

i managed to stop turning the pages of my book for a little bit (but of course i am that nerd that brings it with me everywhere i go, i just never know when i will get bored.) and enjoy the past couple days of my "vacation". and by vacation i simply mean that i am not in classes for this spring term. the summer season has begun and work is piling up. but all is well.

yesterday was kyle's birthday. we took the typical provo route and went to dinner (oh, and to all you vegetarians out there...do not go to a steakhouse and ask what their vegetarian options are. because even if you do so as nicely as possible, they will not like you and your options are lettuce or empty carbs. nice.).

it was a grand time of wardie bonding and birthday boy love. i just love kyle hemming. and his mama. he is the best neighbor and such a wonderful friend. he can make make me laugh myself into a stitch and de-stress my life with a late night parlay and earth fruits run. and mama hemming sends us treats. does not get much better.

it then turned into a sport filled evening, beginning with a game of some hardcore hoops,

and then the first intramural kickball game for the kicking kittens (i thought that ball busters would be a better team name...but byu did not agree).

byu intramurals are amongst some of the most ferocious competition (i am serious... something about that championship t shirt...god is not on those fields, byu or not) that i have ever participated in. even though this is an elementary game, i am prepared for things to get brutal. not that i am competitive or anything.

today was in the seventies and perfect. just perfect. birdies singing, flowers blooming, not a cloud in the sky.

what's a girl to do with a free afternoon and a day like this?? load on the spf, grab a a buddy and take off for the mountains.

ang and i have resolved to do this every week. she is one of my best and only girlfriends, and though stolen away to matrimony, she makes a pretty valiant effort at spending time with me. but Z is great, so he could come too and we would have just as much fun.

i will admit...i was a little nervous about this hike. ang texted me and said "let's leave at 3. and bring your headlamp." ummm...it doesn't get dark until after 8pm now... but ok. safety first. suffice it to say that we have had some really interesting hiking adventures that involve off roading, free climbing, ending up in different cities...but it is all part of the adventure.

upon returning home i realized that i was quite starving and i really really really really really wanted some avocados. i figured that i would take advantage of the nice weather and just walk to the grocery store...well i pushed my luck. they were fresh out of the green goodness i was craving. i was stuck with carrots. good thing i love carrots, huh?

tarahumaras.

2011-05-04T13:38:00.001-06:00

right now i am reading the book born to run. by christopher mcdougall.

it is so good. i am plowing through it but at the same time it is taking me forever (and by forever i mean more than 3 days) because i want to make sure that i read every word and soak in every ounce of adventure. i will keep my running shoes (the tarahumaras go barefoot or barefootish) but i want to be these people. or at least have their endurance. and some of their iskiate. don't worry, i already googled it and called world market. they have it.

i cannot stop reading it. if you need me, i am curled up in a ball with a bag of blow pops, reading my eyes out. and my left leg is twitching because i really want to go out and run (or maybe it is the sugar from all the blow pops...).

i love technology.

2011-05-02T00:34:00.002-06:00

technology is on a list of many things that i have a love/hate relationship with. when it works, i love it. when it doesn't- i hate it. and i also hate that i suddenly realize just how dependent i have become on it.

but today has been one of our better days.

this evening, the ces fireside was broadcasted all over the world. and how fortunate is it that we are able to tune it and watch anywhere we go? sister wixom shared one of my favorite quotes from president ezra taft benson.

"Nothing will surprise us more than when we get to heaven and see the
Father and realize how well we know Him and how familiar His face
is to us."

— Ezra Taft Benson

president kimball passed away that exact day that i was born, thus president benson was the prophet that i grew up listening to, praying for and wishing that i could meet. anytime he is referenced i feel a nostalgic comfort from his words. i love that quote. and it reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures, mosiah 5:13, "for how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?"

food for thought. but how great is it that we have access to so many ways to grow in the gospel? these broadcasts, mormon.org, mormon messages, the new missionary sites, etc. there are so many resources available to us that make the words of the prophets all the more accessible every single day.

after the fireside i was able to have a little fun time with hillwawee woo. i miss my sister so much.

and yes...those are rather normal facial expressions for our video chats (or any chats that we have..).

distance is much easier to deal with when you can have some skype sessions. while technology has its downfalls and may cater to our laziness, it also has its benefits if used wisely. i am grateful for the easy access that i have to my family and friend while we are spread out around the world.

but it is hard to beat face to face interaction. i miss actually laughing with my sister. actually cuddling with her and talking to her. playing with her hair, poking her little potato feet, and just being with her. tonight was spent with 6 boys in a tent and we had a blast. playing games, laying around and just laughing. face to face is my favorite (some of the best moments you can have with a person are just being with them. no matter the activity or what is being said. just being.). second is letters (not emails. not facebook. but real, handwritten notes and letters. the appreciation and feeling behind a letter can be invaluable). i guess that gchat would be last on the list. but either way, i will take what i can get.

oh and ps...

it was announced that osama was killed. i am not sure how i feel about all of it. i realize that he did absolutely awful things and i love this country and i am so grateful for my freedoms. i have several friends that are active in the military now. my own dad was in the air force. and i know that i am blessed to have everything that i do. but regardless of his evil, people were celebrating the fact that he had been killed. am i wrong for feeling uneasy about that? when 9/11 happened and they showed us pictures of people partying in the streets in the middle east over our tragedy, we were disgusted...but how are the people at the white house that are celebrating the assassination of osama much better?

this was us today.

this was them, then.

a life is a life. and maybe i am simply being naive. but i just cannot bring myself to see the killing of a human being as something to celebrate. i realize that we are also celebrating a victory over terrorism and for that, i could not be more relieved. perhaps this is one of those times that i should just keep my opinions to myself. because i am just not informed enough. i just know that all of it is sad. it makes me ill. i hate all of it. signs of the times, i suppose.

my cheeks are sore.

2011-04-30T11:31:00.002-06:00

because i cannot stop smiling.

these past couple weeks have been spent with all boys. great boys. i have had fun watching boy movies, talking about how awful women are to boys, favorite camping gear, basketball and the best way to prevent snoring...but i was in dyer need of some girl time. thank you, vale (who would have ever thought that I would say that...).

oh yes. we most definitely went and saw this last night and it was worth every moment. we could not stop smiling and feeling happy. the kid is just so darn adorable. it wasn't just the hair. or the smile or the dancing or voice...it was just a good hearted kid living his dreams. i jfelt happy for him and for the reminder for everyone to go for it. maybe selling out madison square garden in 22 minutes is a bit of a lofty goal, but the overall message was inspiring and a good reminder. and as cheesy as it is, vale and i could not help ourselves from singing along...and singing once we got home...and dancing and singing some more...we were like baby baby baby oh....

from our hearts to yours, we love you.

and then we got a little carried away.

okie dokie.

2011-04-29T01:03:00.006-06:00

this is my blog. and so i say, "hey, it's ok to..."

eat oreos for breakfast. or anything else that you should feel so inclined to consume at whatever time breakfast time may be for you.
layer nail polish because your current color is chipping or does not match and you are out of time or just too darn lazy.
use swimsuit bottoms for the day if you run out of panties.
leave your digits for the waiter/tress. why not. he/she already served you food- they know how the way to someone's heart.
use the sticky part of a post it when there is no scotch tape around.
skinny dip. become one with nature.
eat more than one 100 calorie pack at a time.
check for wedding rings immediatly.
be really inspired or moved by an article in the Friend or New Era... to still read the Friend or New Era.
take off all of the clothes that you are currently wearing while loading the washing machine because you might as well wash that outfit too.
use cooking spray on squeaky stuff.
feel a little bit better when people say "you deserve better" even though you feel like pooh.
cry during a hallmark commerical. we all love being appreciated. go on, sob. let it out.
hang your church clothes in the bathroom while you shower so that you can skip ironing them.
bring snacks. everywhere.
have a crush on a couple.
consider the use of basic, everyday applicances as qualification for tech savvy.
go ahead, use your hairdryer to warm up in the chilly mornings.
eat while you grocery shop. you will pay for it anyway. (just not the purchase by weight stuff...oops)
have smaller boobs than him.
pretend that you never got that text.
secretly wish that a millionaire will total your car and feel really bad about it and want to compensate you for your emotional trauma.
take more than 1 dinner mint.
dislike the hymns about sunshine.
go to bed early instead of party.
flirt with the guy at jiffy lube. works every time.
wear your yoga pants so much they become all purpose pants. (i stole that one from a magazine, but it is the story of my life)
listen to a song on repeat. as much as you want.
to start your "to do" list with things you have already completed.
cuddle up with someone just to be close to someone.
NOT share the share sized bags of skittles and m&ms.
use coupons and be excited about it.
sit in the mcdonalds parking lot with your laptop because your internet is not working.
pick out all the good fruit in salads.
blog about how much you love running...and then sleep in the next morning.
hide/shove the loads of stuff in your closet and consider your room clean.
have cafe rio on your speed dial.
consider carrying all your groceries inside (in one trip) exercise.
press "0" everytime and pray you get a live person.
buy lingerie...i'll be married someday...
still wear your retainer at night. the same one you got when you were 14.

this is only the first page of my list. but please note, i did not even parenthesize explanations after each one (which i normally do...for everything bloggy). i don't need to explain. because while you may or may not agree, i say it's all gravy, baby.

habitual.

2011-04-25T23:06:00.001-06:00

uh oh... i had a 40% off coupon to hobby lobby...they sell ribbon by the yard.

today's craft:

one of the million super comfortable gap body tanks that i already have

$1.25 worth of trim and 1 hour of hand sewing

right now i am the only female left in my social circle...and as much fun as that is, i think that i suffer from a testosterone overload and need to come home and domesticate myself. but i really need for mother nature to start cooperating with me... (but i HAVE been thoroughly enjoying my rain runs...i just am anxious for it to be a little warmer!) i can only do so much of this.

not having school feels stressful. sounds ironic, but i have all this free time and i do not know what to do with it. luckily i have my books, my gym pass and the playoffs. go boston.

easter.

2011-04-24T22:58:00.000-06:00

as today is easter sunday, i should share these messages from the apostles.

jeffrey r. holland is one of my favorite speakers. he is a passionate and loving authority on sharing the life of christ.

my feelings and testimony of appreciation and love for the savior and for what he did that evening in gethsemane are far too intimate to simply share through a blog post. but i do know that he lives and loves every single one of us and i am so grateful for comfort that i receive from having the knowledge of his plan of mercy.

jeffrey r. holland "none were with him"

joseph b. wirthlin "sunday will come"

sunday crafts.

2011-04-24T22:11:00.002-06:00

as previously blogged and noted by the people in my world...i love cardigans.

generally speaking one wears something underneath such an article of clothing.

i love embellished t's and tank tops. they make it a little bit less plain. but...why would i pay 50% more for a plain top just because it has ruffles or beading?

so today, i made my own.

plain shirts that i already owned and $2.40 worth of beads. i refuse to become a cat lady just because i live by myself and am bored out of my mind because the weather was too ugly for playing outside.

so i might as well get frugally crafty (and yes, i refuse to admit that blogging about nonsesnical moments in my life and cheap crafts is as equally pathetic as being a cat lady).

imagine what i could do with a sewing machine...i used to have a wonderful dinosaur of a Singer that my mama gave to me. it lasted a good 30 years, and a lot of really spectacular matching outfits for my sisters and me (oh boy...the blue polka dot phase), but a tumbling down a flight of concrete stairs was too much. rip.

but check out this one.

adorable. could be used with almost any skirt, jeans or chinos and every cardigan i own. but why pay $45 for it when i could just sew some ruffles on in 3 minutes? i need a new singer. and a life.

ohhhh but i did get a new book. joely left (surprise weekend visit? sure, why not. made my week), back to work in the morning and poopy weather ensues. i am holed up inside for the evening with my read.

it is 3 am.

2011-04-23T03:50:00.001-06:00

yes, that is a lot of face.

but no, i am not that vain. just an occasional insomniacal blogger.

in fact, i usually keep long hair to hide as much of my face as possible.

but...i am starting to get that nagging desire to chop it all off.

i go through shampoo faster than toothpaste (and i use a lot of toothpaste).

it takes at least 10 minutes to dry.

it gets so hot!

but...it means that i do not have to style it.

hello pony tails and braids.

it can be fun...

and again, it is my security blanket. it hides me.

every time i DO cut my hair i cry...but it always grows back.

i am conflicted.

earth day.

2011-04-22T20:22:00.007-06:00

it is pretty outside.

my green, pistachio cupcakes are baking.

the celtics just won.

i am going to dye easter eggs.

a and i are going to create some green thumb mischief at the river.

oh how i love this wonderful planet that i live on. the breath taking sunrises and sunsets. the vibrant leaves and critters that sing in them. the blue waters and white clouds. the cool breezes and warm rains. eden is what you make it.

here's to reusable shopping bags, fuel efficient cars, gardens, riding bikes, recycling and energy star. way to keep mother earth a little healthier and more beautiful everyday.

dear lazy people:

please learn to do some dishes instead of using plastics.

please turn off your lights when you are leave a room.

please put on a sweater instead of turning up the heat.

and for goodness sakes, please stop littering.

xoxo,

me.

it's earth day. feel free to go nakey.

adios for now.

2011-04-20T23:53:00.000-06:00

today was one of goodbyes. i said goodbye to school (took my last final) and i said goodbye to my friends leaving for summer sales and internships. this happens every year. it should be nothing new. but i am always a little sad to see them off. obviously, i survive the months alone, but not without a bit of a wistful longing for my closest friends.

when you go away for a summer it is great to really immerse yourself in your new surroundings and try new things but everyone needs that soft place to land from time to time. so whether that be a phone call or a skype date, it is just nice to know that someone is there.

i love my late night calls when they phone to tell me about their day and have someone to talk to on their long drives back home every night. there are always funny stories to share, frustrations to vent about, moments of silence when it is just nice to know that a friend is on the other end caring about you, and then the, "ok...well i am home now." and we all can go to sleep comforted and happy.

here we go again.

i got punked.

2011-04-19T17:55:00.001-06:00

once upon a time i went to the gym. when i arrived, i fell right into my routine. shot the breeze with the guys at the desk, nodded to a few of the regulars (they usually just wink back because their necks are too big for them to nod) and then straight into the cardio cinema i went. i have used the same treadmill 4-6 days a week for the past 3 years (can you tell that i am a routine person- though i am far from a talented runner). i hopped on and went to work. i started to jog and my playlist took off. i know that when i hear coheed and cambria that it is go time or i won't make it more than a mile. i looked at the girl next to me and she was just starting to run as well. will smith, being the total bamf that he is, once said (to be accurate i should note that i did not know this quote until i told someone else about this story),

"i am not afraid to die on a treadmill...if we get on a treadmill together, you are going to get off first or i am going to die."

extreme? maybe a little. but he's will smith. and competition is competition. who cares if you know the person or if there is anything at stake but your pride. and who am i kidding...pride is the most valuable prize of all.

but, i digress.

so. this chick gets on the treadmill next to me. when i glanced over at her, it was clear that she was at least 3 times my size and by that, i really mean that she was biggest loser material (i know that sounds mean, i only said it for visual purposes and just you wait). stupid beckie thinks, "ha. whatever this girl can run, i can run."

i maintained my current pace (which was faster than hers but figured it wouldn't matter) and i was absolutely determined to run as long as her. how hard could it be?

FIFTY TWO. FIVE ZERO TWO. 5x10+2 minutes later- she stopped to walk. she sipped some water, walked for 5 minutes and was glowing.

are you freaking kidding me???

i stumbled off (more like slid off with all the sweat that was raining off of my body) my treadmill, looked at her and just stared. she looked at me and i just high fived her and walked away (and by walk i mean i gumby style limped).

moral of the lesson: size doesn't matter. and the pride police are always ready to put me in my place.

the next morning i ate 4 doughnuts and i felt like a champ.
and that, my dear friends, is what we call a beckie's blunder.

the other night i counted.

2011-04-18T14:51:00.003-06:00

dear beckie,

thank you for embracing how great we are. remember how you love us and wear one of us almost every day and in return we keep your ever frozen body a little bit warmer?

we have such a great relationship.

xoxo,

the 32 cardigans in your closet.

_________________________________________________________

dear beckie,

you wear the same thing every day and we have reached maximum capacity.

NO MORE CARDIGANS.

breeching fire codes,
your closet.

__________________________________________________________________

dear beckie,

cardigans are a key wardrobe essential; great for every season. they hide your trouble spots and maintain classy modesty. please keep buying us!

waiting to be yours,

all of the cardigans at banana republic.
__________________________________________________________________

dear beckie,

stop eating so many treats and then you won’t have “trouble spots”. who the hell has 32 cardigans anyway? mr. rogers wore the same five sweaters for a hundred years. best part about cardis is that you can pair them with everything and make a million outfits with one. be creative and leave us be.

begrudgingly yours,

your budget.

___________________________________________________________________

it is a constant battle. bank account wins. drooling over j crew catalogs will have to appease the craving.

green week.

2011-04-17T16:38:00.001-06:00

i can tell when it is going to rain at least 2 days in advance. i literally feel it in my bones. well...my bone (the one that has the big metal rod in it...). but right now the rest of my bones are telling me that this is going to a good week (and the slightly aching femur is indicating that there may be some scattered showers). as per the usual, church was nice. my sunday walk was incredibly pleasant as the sun shone down on me and made me so happy. right after church i went to see some married friends. and what did these lovely people have awaiting for me? a beckiestyle easter basket. and by beckiestyle, of course i am referring to a reusable, eco friendly shopping bag.

and not just any reusable bag, but a super cute, ever so useful, drawstring target, earth day special one! (everyone go to target...they are free this week to support earth day on friday)

and in keeping with that theme, check out its contents:

do they know me or what?! gardening tools and flower seeds (for my earth day tradition), a green candle and baking goods? i already planted one packet outside my front door and i am quite anxious to see what will bloom.

the weather has been so cooperative and i cannot wait for this to be a regular occurance. yesterday joely's text said

j "it is so beautiful here. going to go for a motorcycle ride, too bad you aren't here".

what a bittersweet thing to say. luckily my geology buddy will be doing the greater portion of his summer studies here in the beautiful land of utah. good times to be had... who wouldn't want to learn about rocks?

right now my house is clean, it smells like flowery wonderful goodness (mixture of open windows and the candle from my easter bag) and i am feeling rather relaxed about this week's upcoming exams. i have studied hard and intend to make high marks but we shall see :) on friday i was able to spend some time in the temple and perform ordinances that i had not participated in for quite some time. it was exactly what i needed to be reminded of the blessings that the Lord offers to our minds and our spirits when we live our lives according to His will. though i am a bit of a senior student now, i know that those promises still apply to even a twenty five year old in a freshman prerequisite class.

and yes, i am making my life appear rather breezy but let's be honest...my right eye will not stop twitching from fatigue, i have some really attractive stress acne going and i just want to live off of cadburry mini eggs and carrots. the summer sales season has begun and that is just great. sales reps are awesome...like mosquito bites...

summer 2011, here i come.