truths list.

the only way that you could NOT know that i am obsessed with lists would be if you did not know me AT all. someone who does know and love me a lot, sent this list to me and i laughed my bum off while having several "oh my gosh, YES. nailed it." moments. 

and for your laugh lines, i will now share this list. 

truths for mature humans.

1. part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die (thank you google incognito... no one needs to know how much time i spend on pinterest, online shopping, and all the really really random and silly things that i wiki...).

2. nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong (luckily that is VERY rare).

3. i take back all those times that i didn't want to nap as a kid (oh how i love naps. and juice boxes. and being tucked in. and having someone brush my hair).

4. there is a great need for a sarcasm font (i would probably have to type in that all the time and then have my serious statements unsarcasamed... that would save a lot of time and inadvertent offensive moments).

5. how the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet (good gosh they look awful).

6. was learning cursive really necessary (only when in a hurry..it is like they KNEW we would get too busy to actually write out our letters).

7. mapquest really needs to start their directions at #5...pretty sure i know how to get out of my own neighborhood (...let alone driveway).

8. obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died (what, i get curious).

9. i cannot remember the last time that i wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. bad decisions make good stories (welcome to my blog of blunders).

11. you never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you are just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day (approx 14 minutes ago).

12. can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after blu-ray? i don;t want to have to start my collection over...again.

13. i am always slightly terrified when i exit out of word/excel and it asks me if i want to save any changes to my ten page document that i swear i did not make any changes to...(i lose minutes off my life every time).

14. "do not machine wash or tumble dry" means that i will never wash this. ever. (or even buy it...)

15. i hate when i miss a call by the last ring, but when i immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail (what did you do when i didn't answer? drop the phone and run away?)

16. i hate leaving the house feeling confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day (what a waste. boycott getting ready.)

17. keep phone numbers in your phone just to you know who not to answer when they call.

18. i think that the freezer deserves a light as well (so true... i blame my freezer burned foodies on the things that i could not see shoved back there in the arctic shadows).

19. i would rather try to carry 10 overloaded bags in each hand than to take 2 trips to bring my groceries in (i consider it my weight training for the day). 

20. the only time i look forward to a red light is to send a text (texting while driving is dumb and i swear this makes the light go green faster..).

21. i have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger...(if you are eating while reading this, it is not because you are hungry, it is because you are bored).

22. how many times is it appropriate to say "what?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

23. i love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front (stay strong brothers and sisters, stick it to the UT drivers!).

24. shirts gets dirty. undies get dirty. pants? pants never get dirty and you can wear them forever.

25. high school kids get dumber and dumber every year.

26. there is no worse feeling than that millisecond you are sure that you are going to die after leaning back in your chair a little too far (or when you think that there was one more stairstep).

27. sometimes i'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 

28. even under ideal conditions, people have trouble finding their car keys in the pocket, their cell phone while talking on it, their car in the parking lot... but everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away in about 1.7 seconds (eyes closed, first time, every time).