more fan mail.

Dear Beckie,

We heard that you suffer from olfactophobia.  In order to ease your mind and to bless the lives of those that have to spend time with you, particularly in the evening after you go to the gym, we have created this.

Oh and this:

We hope that you like them. And that you use them. Sally the Civic would really appreciate a spritz or two as well. We wish you the best of luck in your sweaty workouts and maintaining a social life.

Always looking out for you and on behalf of people in your close proximity,

Febreze. 

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Oh Hey Girl!

Now, we know that you love this new Febreze stuff. But that is totally just for your clothes, remember YOU could still use us. Anytime, anywhere, as much as you want. I mean, come on, we're Juicy. For Girls Who Like Stuff. That is just so you! We love you! And the boys that buy us for you!

xoxo,

Juicy Couture.

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Dear Rebecca Sariah:

It appears as though there are plenty of ways for you to prevent smelling atrociously.  So please stop taking 2 long showers a day. It is not necessary. The fish, your skin, your hair, the world, will thank you.

Best regards until your next period,

Mother Nature.
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