Saturday, June 27, 2009
You know you are short when...
1. You have to sit on a pillow when you drive. It is all about the visibility folks. (Suddenly you have 4 times as many blind spots as the rest of the world)
2. You can't change a light bulb because you can't reach it even standing on a chair. (lightbulbs, the microwave, the top of cabinet, the top shelf, the good milk is always on the top shelf!)
3. You can't see your whole face in a public restroom mirror because the mirror is too high. (You just have to assume that everything looks right..so what if toilet paper is coming out of your panties... jk)
4. Your feet dangle from a chair cause your feet can't touch the ground. (This is the worst! 3 hours of church, 8 hours of work, an hour at dinner, whatever, they hang, they swell, you end up sitting with your legs and being unladylike all the time. And if you are stuck next to a fatty and you don't have enough room to put your legs up, you're screwed!)
5. You have to climb on shelves to get to a higher shelf and thats when the employee asks you to stop and volunteers to get the item for you. (or the shelf breaks and then everyone is mad at you..only happened once, I promise)
6. you have to wait for the bishopric to lower the podium a couple feet before giving a sacrament talk. (Someone super tall always speaks before you too and the congreation gives you the little pity laugh)
7. you can barely reach the pedals when going on an exercise bike. You have to stretch your legs and "yes, the seat cannot go any lower. sorry." (The calf machine is pretty much pointless unless you want to get a severe toe workout..)
8. you have a hard time giving your signature on the credit card machine. You either have to try and lower the machine or stand on your tippy toes. (this has happened before and more than once!) (this one has yet to be an issue for me.. phew)
9. Gain 1-2 pounds and it's super obvious and suddenly nothing fits. There's no leeway with weight gain when you only have 60 inches to hide it in...
Hillary and I have had plenty of firsthand experience with being vertically challenged. But it does have it's advantages:
1. You learn to be very monkey like, I can crawl, hop or lift myself up on to almost anything to reach what I need.
2. Being short, you usually have little feet. For example, I am a size 3 in children's shoes size. Shoes are 1/2 the price!
3. Everyone thinks that you're so "cute and small", so the element of surprise when you kick their butts or lift your body weight is so much more rewarding.
4. You can wear short shorts, mini skirts/dresses and still be modest.
5. Limbo: ALWAYS a winner.
6. You can date tall or short men, no ego issues because you're still always shorter than him.
7. Shaving your legs takes half the time!
8. You can pretty much fit anywhere and fall asleep comfortably.
9. When you're always little- you can trick or treat until you're 20!!
2. You can't change a light bulb because you can't reach it even standing on a chair. (lightbulbs, the microwave, the top of cabinet, the top shelf, the good milk is always on the top shelf!)
3. You can't see your whole face in a public restroom mirror because the mirror is too high. (You just have to assume that everything looks right..so what if toilet paper is coming out of your panties... jk)
4. Your feet dangle from a chair cause your feet can't touch the ground. (This is the worst! 3 hours of church, 8 hours of work, an hour at dinner, whatever, they hang, they swell, you end up sitting with your legs and being unladylike all the time. And if you are stuck next to a fatty and you don't have enough room to put your legs up, you're screwed!)
5. You have to climb on shelves to get to a higher shelf and thats when the employee asks you to stop and volunteers to get the item for you. (or the shelf breaks and then everyone is mad at you..only happened once, I promise)
6. you have to wait for the bishopric to lower the podium a couple feet before giving a sacrament talk. (Someone super tall always speaks before you too and the congreation gives you the little pity laugh)
7. you can barely reach the pedals when going on an exercise bike. You have to stretch your legs and "yes, the seat cannot go any lower. sorry." (The calf machine is pretty much pointless unless you want to get a severe toe workout..)
8. you have a hard time giving your signature on the credit card machine. You either have to try and lower the machine or stand on your tippy toes. (this has happened before and more than once!) (this one has yet to be an issue for me.. phew)
9. Gain 1-2 pounds and it's super obvious and suddenly nothing fits. There's no leeway with weight gain when you only have 60 inches to hide it in...
Hillary and I have had plenty of firsthand experience with being vertically challenged. But it does have it's advantages:
1. You learn to be very monkey like, I can crawl, hop or lift myself up on to almost anything to reach what I need.
2. Being short, you usually have little feet. For example, I am a size 3 in children's shoes size. Shoes are 1/2 the price!
3. Everyone thinks that you're so "cute and small", so the element of surprise when you kick their butts or lift your body weight is so much more rewarding.
4. You can wear short shorts, mini skirts/dresses and still be modest.
5. Limbo: ALWAYS a winner.
6. You can date tall or short men, no ego issues because you're still always shorter than him.
7. Shaving your legs takes half the time!
8. You can pretty much fit anywhere and fall asleep comfortably.
9. When you're always little- you can trick or treat until you're 20!!
3 comments:
yeah but with small feet, you get to choose between Hannah Montana shoes and Spiderman! And it is quite hard to find high heels when they are suppose to fit elementary school kids.
THIS IS VERY TRUE. My poor little sister :)
Who wouldn't want Hannah Montana shoes!!
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